The Premed Playbook Guide to the Medical School Personal Statement

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

A strong personal statement must connect emotionally with admissions committees by showing—not telling—your reflective journey toward medicine, because even excellent scores cannot secure an interview without a compelling narrative.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Interview invitations depend on storytelling: MCAT/GPA may prioritize review order, but the personal statement determines whether you receive an interview invite.
• Show, don't tell: Paint vivid pictures of experiences and their emotional impact rather than listing accomplishments or stating traits.
• Reflection over recitation: Write about why experiences mattered and how they shaped you, not just what you did.
• Common confusion: Personal statements vs. secondary essays—personal statements trace your journey to medicine; secondary essays answer school-specific prompts about diversity, obstacles, or fit.
• Connection is critical: Each sentence should compel the reader to continue; opening lines must immediately engage rather than recite résumé facts.

🎯 Why the personal statement matters

🎯 The role of scores vs. narrative

• MCAT and GPA function as screening tools that determine review priority.
• Scores alone will not generate interview invitations.
• The personal statement, secondary essays, and overall application earn the interview.
• Admissions committees reserve limited interview slots for applicants whose statements demonstrate genuine interest, reflection, and compelling stories.

⚠️ When a personal statement cannot help

• If a school screens by minimum MCAT/GPA thresholds and your scores fall below their cutoffs, the personal statement will not be reviewed.
• Once scores pass initial screening, the personal statement becomes crucial for acceptance chances.

✍️ Core principles of effective personal statements

✍️ Personal means reflective

Personal statements should trace your decision-making journey from initial inspiration to physician commitment, showing what motivates you and confirming you understand medical realities.

• Admissions committees want evidence you've done due diligence.
• They need to see you've reflected on whether you genuinely want to work with sick people.
• Medicine differs drastically from TV portrayals—it is hard, draining, exhausting, and rewarding.
• Writing about experiences that evoke these emotions creates strong statements.

🎬 Show, don't tell

The excerpt contrasts two approaches:

Approach	Example	Effect
Telling (weak)	"I have compassion" or "I am passionate about research"	Generic; fails to distinguish you
Showing (strong)	Describe a specific scenario where you displayed compassion or felt emotions during research	Creates vivid mental images; memorable

• Don't just state you volunteered at a free clinic—thousands of applicants have similar experiences.
• Instead, describe the impact of that experience on you as a person and future physician.
• Example: Rather than listing "I was a programmer for 15 years," show a moment (watching news of an explosion) that crystallized your calling toward medicine.

🪝 Every sentence must hook the reader

The goal of each sentence is to make the reader want to move to the next sentence.

Weak opening example (résumé-style):

• "I have been a programmer and computer engineer working in a niche market with great stability..."
• This immediately signals a résumé-type statement and discourages further reading.

Strong opening example (visual and emotional):

• "Watching the smoke rising from the catastrophic explosion... I felt helpless. I was sitting watching on the news, when what I really wanted to be doing was running toward the scene to help those in need."
• Creates immediate engagement; the reader wants to know what happens next.

Another strong example:

• "My retinas burned as they filled with flashing red and white lights piercing through the cloud of gravel dust engulfing us. Sitting in my driveway was an ambulance and my mother was inside."
• One dean called this "the best personal statement he had ever read."

⚖️ Balance description carefully

• Paint enough of a picture to help readers imagine the scenario.
• Avoid excessive creative writing that buries the point.

Good balance example:

• Describing an unconscious accident victim in the trauma bay: mention dried blood, chest compressions, unsuccessful resuscitation attempts, and the flat rhythm strip sound.
• Don't over-describe wall colors, floor tiles, or every detail of the nurse's appearance.

🔍 Reflection: the why behind the what

🔍 What reflection means

• Too many students write only about what they did in extracurriculars.
• Great personal statements explain why actions were taken and why experiences were impactful.
• Reflection means examining how experiences influenced your journey and shaped your understanding of medicine.

📓 Practical tool: keep a journal

• Memory is unreliable for recalling feelings and impacts from years ago.
• Journal after each extracurricular activity to capture emotions and insights in the moment.
• When drafting your statement, review journal entries for authentic inspiration.
• This practice provides a significant advantage over relying on distant memory.

🎯 Start with why

• The excerpt references Simon Sinek's TED Talk How Great Leaders Inspire Action and his book Start with Why.
• Reflect on why each experience influenced your journey.
• This elevates your statement above superficial experience-listing.

📝 Personal statement vs. secondary essays

📝 Different purposes

Essay type	Purpose	Content
Personal statement	Show your journey to medicine	Trace experiences from initial inspiration to confirmed decision; demonstrate reflection
Secondary essays	Answer school-specific prompts	Address topics like diversity, reasons for applying to that school, obstacles overcome

📝 Why secondary essays matter

• Some admissions professionals consider secondary essays more crucial now because most personal statements fail to accomplish their intended goal.
• Secondary essays are often easier to write because you answer specific questions rather than narrating your entire journey.
• Both essay types are valuable to admissions committees.

🎭 Connection and emotion

🎭 What connection means

A good personal statement:

• Connects with the reader emotionally
• Elicits genuine feelings
• Makes the reader remember you and your story

🎭 How to create connection

• Help readers feel the emotions you felt.
• Help them see what you saw.
• Use sensory details and specific moments rather than abstract statements.

⚠️ Don't confuse connection with creative writing

• There is a fine balance between "too much" creative flourish and "just enough" vivid detail.
• One creative sentence can work as an opening hook.
• Going overboard turns the statement into a creative writing piece rather than a medical school application essay.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

A strong personal statement must show—not tell—your journey through reflective storytelling that demonstrates impact, takeaways, and core competencies admissions committees seek in future physicians.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Show vs. tell: Don't state qualities like compassion; instead, paint vivid stories that demonstrate these traits through specific experiences.
• Impact and reflection matter most: Listing experiences isn't enough—you must explain how each experience shaped you and strengthened your motivation to become a physician.
• Takeaways are essential: Every story needs a clear "why"—what you learned and how it influenced your path forward.
• Common confusion: Admissions committees look for core competencies, but you shouldn't write a checklist-style statement; tell your authentic story while naturally demonstrating these qualities.
• Journaling advantage: Keeping a journal after experiences helps capture emotions and details that memory alone cannot preserve for later writing.

📖 The power of showing through storytelling

🎨 What "show vs. tell" means

• Tell = stating a quality directly: "I have compassion" or "I am passionate about research"
• Show = demonstrating through narrative: telling a story about a situation where you displayed compassion, or painting a picture of you working on research and the emotions you felt
• The excerpt emphasizes this distinction repeatedly as fundamental to strong personal statement writing.

📔 Why keeping a journal helps

• Memory is unreliable for recalling experiences from years ago, especially the feelings and impacts on others.
• Journaling after each extracurricular activity gives you a "huge advantage" when preparing applications.
• You can look back at these notes for inspiration when drafting your statement.
• Example: After volunteering at a clinic, immediately record what felt impactful rather than trying to remember years later.

💡 Writing about impact and reflection

💥 Why listing experiences isn't enough

Impact: how an experience affected you as a person and as a future physician, not just what you did.

• Thousands of applicants volunteer at free clinics—the activity alone doesn't set you apart.
• You must write about the impact of that experience on you personally and professionally.
• Don't confuse: writing about what you did vs. reflecting on what it meant to you.

🔍 Starting with "why"

• The excerpt references Simon Sinek's concept: show the reader why each experience influenced your journey.
• Reflect back on experiences rather than just describing them superficially.
• This approach is "memorable" and "makes for a great personal statement."
• Example goal: "Tell me the story of a patient you interacted with that left you saying, 'YES! This is why I want to be a doctor.'"

🎯 What makes a strong takeaway

Weak example (no clear takeaway):

• A student describes scrubbing in for a cesarean section, holding a retractor, feeling amniotic fluid, and watching new life emerge.
• Problem: No reflection on what this meant—did they feel amazed at caring for someone? In awe of bringing life into the world? Want to continue this feeling?

Another weak example (vague takeaway):

• "Watching the dynamic that develops between the patient with his or her family members... drive me to continue to push myself."
• Problem: "Must do what?" Dynamics exist in many careers—this needed more specificity.

Strong example 1 (emergency department):

• After helping a man with chest pains into a wheelchair and bringing him to care: "I wanted to be able to help in a more important role."
• Why it works: Simple, clear, shows the student's thinking, points toward becoming a physician.

Strong example 2 (patient abroad):

• After receiving empathetic care while traveling: "I had experienced the powerful impact an empathetic caregiver can have on a patient. I wanted to provide that comfort and care for others; to pass on the compassion that was shown to me in a time of need."
• Why it works: Straightforward, shows thoughtful reflection, explains motivation to move forward.

🪞 Why reflection matters most

• Reflection shows you're not just "checking off boxes" but gaining experiences that confirm this is the right path.
• You need to reflect to create the best takeaways.
• Great takeaways explain your journey to the Admissions Committee.

🎓 How admissions committees evaluate statements

📋 Core competencies framework

• The AAMC has 15 core competencies for entering medical students in four categories: interpersonal, intrapersonal, thinking and reasoning, and science.
• Admissions committees use these to determine interview invitations and acceptances.
• Important: These are not a template or exhaustive checklist for your statement—they help you understand how schools may evaluate you.

🤝 Key interpersonal competencies

Competency	What it means	How to demonstrate
Service Orientation	Putting others' needs before yourself; responding to people's needs, feelings, emotions	Write about whom you positively affected through volunteering; show the impact you made on people you served
Cultural Competence	Understanding socio-cultural factors affecting you and patients	Share stories of interacting with diverse patients; demonstrate awareness of the increasingly diverse U.S. population
Teamwork	Working in groups to help patients	Discuss significant teamwork stories showing your role; demonstrate understanding that healthcare involves physicians, nurses, social workers, physical therapists, etc.

💪 Key intrapersonal competencies

Resilience and Adaptability:

• Most personal statements revolve around this competency.
• Classic examples: overcoming personal illness/injury, supporting family through a parent's illness, learning from a poor semester.
• Only select a story if it's impactful enough to bring your resilience to the forefront.

Capacity for Improvement:

• Show your journey from first learning about medicine to writing your statement.
• Discuss key experiences and how you improved as a premed.
• Demonstrate surrounding yourself with experiences of improvement.

✍️ Thinking and reasoning competency

Written Communication:

• Straightforward: how well you communicate in your personal statement demonstrates this competency directly.

⚖️ Balancing authenticity with competencies

• Don't cross the line and write a statement just for the Admissions Committee.
• As soon as you do that, it's no longer a personal statement.
• Tell your story: why you want to be a physician and what experiences guided you down that path.
• The competencies should emerge naturally from authentic storytelling, not be forced into a checklist format.

🗺️ Choosing what to write about

❓ Two essential questions

1. "What was the first time in my life that I questioned if being a physician was right for me?"
2. "What are the most impactful experiences that have continued to strengthen my desire to become a physician?"

🌟 Understanding "impactful"

• "Impactful can mean different things to different students."
• Whether you're a 21-year-old traditional premed or a 45-year-old nontraditional changing careers, you've had many experiences that made an impact.
• Look back on your unique experiences to identify what truly shaped your journey.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

A strong medical school personal statement must clearly explain why you specifically want to be a physician—not just help people—by reflecting deeply on personal experiences with patients rather than merely listing observations or extracurriculars.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Core purpose: Tell your story and explain why you want to be a physician, not just a healthcare worker in general.
• Reflection is essential: Every experience should be examined through serious thought about how it strengthened your desire to become a physician specifically.
• Personal interactions trump observations: Direct patient experiences are more powerful than shadowing stories because they reveal deeper emotional connections.
• Common confusion: Wanting to "help people" or "loving science" applies to many careers (nursing, PA, social work)—these alone don't explain why medicine.
• Show your journey: Include the backstory of why you first explored medicine and any breaks or doubts you faced.

💪 Demonstrating core competencies

💪 Capacity for improvement

Capacity for Improvement: shown through your journey to becoming a physician, from first learning about medicine to the present.

• The Admissions Committee looks for evidence of growth over time.
• Write about key experiences where you improved as a premed.
• This demonstrates resilience and ability to develop.

✍️ Written communication

• How well you communicate in your personal statement directly demonstrates this competency.
• The statement itself is evidence of your written communication skills.
• Clarity and coherence matter as much as content.

⚠️ Don't write for the committee

• Once you start writing just to check boxes for the Admissions Committee, it stops being a personal statement.
• You must tell your story authentically.
• Balance showing competencies with genuine self-expression.

🎯 What your statement must accomplish

🎯 Answer the "why physician" question

The reader should clearly understand why you want to be a physician specifically, not another healthcare role.

Weak examples that fail this test:

• "I yearned to serve others beyond the classroom, in a more vital role" → could be any service career
• "I am passionate about being a 'cheerleader' for others" → doesn't specify patients or physician role
• "Lack of access to care... medically underserved community" → could be nurse, PA, social worker

The problem: These statements show desire to make a difference but don't explain why becoming a physician is necessary.

📖 Provide backstory

Many students jump straight into shadowing or volunteering without explaining why they started exploring medicine.

Weak example:

"I realized I didn't want to center my life around politics... So I set my eyes on the goal – study Biology, get that degree and jump right into medical school."

Why it fails: No explanation of what sparked the initial interest in medicine; leaves the reader questioning if the student understands what they're pursuing.

🔍 Show you understand the reality

• About half of physicians experience burnout.
• Many are unhappy with pay, hours, and other aspects of medicine.
• Your statement should show you're entering this field with eyes open.
• This isn't meant to scare you—it's the reality you must acknowledge.

🪞 The power of reflection

🪞 What reflection means

Reflection: serious thought or consideration about your experiences.

• For every experience, consider how it made you want (or not want) to be a physician.
• The only way to find the answer to "why medicine" is through reflection.
• Ask yourself: "What about this experience strengthened my desire to be a physician?"

🚫 What reflection helps you avoid

Reflection prevents writing about trivial experiences that seem important to you but aren't compelling to readers:

• Playing doctor as a child is not your reason for becoming a physician.
• Having a parent who is a physician is not your reason.
• Your experiences after those moments provide the real material for your story.

💭 Reflecting on tough questions

• Understand what your goals are.
• Examine how your journey leads toward those goals.
• Distinguish between what you think is important versus what is actually meaningful to the reader.

👥 Personal interactions vs. observations

👁️ The shadowing trap

Many students write superficially about witnessing physicians doing amazing things and wanting to do the same.

Weak shadowing example:

"I watched the physician artfully balance the severity of the patient's condition with compassion and empathy. I was struck by the physician's rapport; how honest, yet gentle, he remained. It really demonstrated how physicians can dignify their patients in the most difficult situations."

Why it's weak: Only shows the student enjoyed witnessing the doctor-patient relationship; doesn't reveal personal emotional connection or deeper understanding.

💬 The power of direct patient interaction

Strong personal interaction example:

"The first day I came into Jane's room, she motioned for me to sit down... Within an hour, she told me about how her husband had died, followed by her son, then followed the murder of her daughter... That day, Jane exemplified what I have seen in many hospice patients. They are vulnerable, candid, and often resilient. They leave me wanting to do everything I can to ease their burdens."

Why it works:

• Direct interaction creates emotional connection.
• Reflection is more compelling because it's personal.
• "Ease their burdens" suggests physician role (though not exclusively).
• Much more powerful than observing from the sidelines.

📝 When observation might be acceptable

• If you truly believe an observed moment was most powerful, you can write about it.
• Just know it probably isn't as strong as direct patient interaction.
• Observation stories work better in extracurricular descriptions.

⚠️ Topics to handle carefully

❌ "Helping people and loving science"

Why this fails:

• You can help people in any career (even an Uber driver helps people).
• Many healthcare careers combine helping people and science: physical therapist, psychologist, nurse, PA.
• These are part of medicine but not sufficient reasons for choosing it.
• Stay far away from these as your primary reasons.

😠 Bad experiences with physicians

• Some students write about being treated poorly by a physician as motivation.
• Don't write about this (more details in the "What to Avoid" chapter).
• This is not a strong foundation for your story.

🔄 Taking a break from the premed path

This is okay to include:

• Shows you've done reflection.
• Demonstrates you've faced challenges before.
• Proves you won't run away when medical school or residency gets tough.
• Keep it brief but work it into your story if relevant.
• Shows who you are better than ignoring it.

🔄 Nontraditional students' advantage

🔄 Leveraging career changes

Nontraditional students can excel at reflection because they often have very strong reasons for changing course.

Strong nontraditional example:

"Thus, life events and fear of the academic rigor in medical school forged a path away from healthcare; yet, I never forgot the experiences from my formative years. They are what fuel my renewed passion to be a physician today."

What makes this work:

• Acknowledges walking away from earlier dreams.
• Describes working in another field (corporate America).
• Explains what brought them back.
• Shows clear reflection on the journey.

⚖️ Don't manufacture a gap

• You don't need to be nontraditional to show reflection.
• Don't purposefully delay medical school to work first just to demonstrate reflection.
• Traditional students can reflect deeply on their continuous journey.

📋 Using extracurricular experiences

📋 How to include extracurriculars properly

• Your personal statement should not be a list of extracurriculars.
• Assume you didn't just "check boxes" but genuinely engaged.
• One experience could be the key to why you want to be a doctor.

✅ When an extracurricular belongs in your statement

The key difference: It's how you include it, not whether you include it.

• If an extracurricular strengthened your resolve to become a physician, it can belong.
• Focus on what you learned and how it shaped your goals.
• Don't just list what you did—explain what it meant to your journey.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

Your personal statement should tell your personal journey to medicine through reflection and meaningful experiences, not just list extracurriculars or try to stand out with an artificially unique storyline.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Reflection matters more than novelty: About 80% of personal statements follow the same storyline, but what distinguishes yours is how you reflect on your personal journey.
• Extracurriculars belong—if framed correctly: Include experiences that strengthened your resolve to become a physician, but show the takeaway rather than listing activities or selling skills.
• Avoid specialty talk: Writing about a specific specialty rarely works well and wastes space; most students change their minds during medical school anyway.
• Common confusion: Nontraditional paths (working before medicine) show reflection, but you should not delay applying just to appear reflective—any applicant can reflect on their journey.
• Use secondary prompts to brainstorm: Thinking through common secondary essay questions helps you identify your motivations and formulate your personal statement content.

🪞 Reflection and the nontraditional path

🪞 What reflection means in your statement

• Reflection is about showing the Admissions Committee that you have thought deeply about your journey, not just experienced events.
• The excerpt gives an example of a student who walked away from medicine, worked in corporate America, then returned after a life event reminded him of his formative healthcare experiences.
• He connected his past (early interest in medicine), his detour (fear of rigor, life events), and his present (research on obesity and diabetes) to show a coherent, reflective narrative.

🚫 Don't confuse reflection with being nontraditional

• You do not need to be a nontraditional student to reflect on your journey.
• The excerpt explicitly warns: do not purposefully delay applying to medical school, work in the corporate world, and then return just to show reflection.
• Traditional applicants can and should reflect on their experiences and growth.

🎯 How to include extracurriculars

🎯 The right way to use extracurriculars

Your personal statement shouldn't just be a list of your extracurriculars.

• Include an extracurricular experience if it is key to why you want to be a doctor or if it strengthened your resolve.
• The excerpt emphasizes: "It's how you put it in that makes all the difference in the world."
• Focus on the takeaway—what the experience taught you or how it deepened your commitment to medicine.

✅ Example of effective extracurricular use

The excerpt provides a volunteering example:

• A student volunteered as a friendly visitor for the Mental Health Association, befriending a blind senior citizen with depression.
• She realized that her friendly presence had limits; only a physician could offer the treatment he needed.
• Takeaway: the experience "intensified my desire to become a doctor to better understand mental disorders and to help patients suffering like my friend."

❌ What to avoid when writing about extracurriculars

• Don't sell skills: The example student wrote "I was armed with a friendly and empathetic demeanor"—this is the student trying to sell the reader on her qualities, which is not the goal.
• Don't include unnecessary details: You can often remove the names of organizations to save character space.
• Don't just check boxes: The excerpt assumes you participated in extracurriculars for meaningful reasons, not just to fulfill requirements.

🩺 Should you mention a specialty?

🩺 The general advice: avoid it

• Some advisors say never mention a specialty; others (like the author) say it can be okay if your story revolves around it naturally.
• Out of hundreds of personal statements the author has read, only two or three effectively wrote about a specific specialty.

🧭 Why it's usually not worth it

Reason	Explanation
Space is limited	Writing about a specialty takes up space that could be better used on another point.
Your goal is admission	At this stage, your goal is to get into medical school, not to justify a specialty choice.
Most students change their minds	Once in medical school, most students pursue a different career than what they initially hoped to practice.

💡 Brainstorming your story

💡 Common initial exposures to medicine

The excerpt lists experiences that may have planted the seed for your interest in medicine:

• Personal healthcare journey (cancer survivor, autoimmune disease, hospital stay, sports injury)
• Family healthcare journey (parent's cancer battle, sibling's mental health battle, healthcare access struggles, family member's addiction)
• Birth of a child
• Relationship with a mentor
• Family member in healthcare
• Being a helpless bystander during a medical emergency

📝 Using secondary essay prompts to brainstorm

• Secondary applications come after medical schools receive your primary application and usually include essay prompts.
• Reflecting on these prompts can help you understand your motivations and formulate your personal statement.
• The excerpt groups prompts into categories:

📝 Nontraditional or academic difficulties

• Have you had any lapse of two years or greater in taking full-time college-level coursework?
• Please provide any additional information important in evaluating your application (e.g., additional coursework, problems with academic record, disadvantaged status).

🚩 Red flags

• Describe any academic performance issues and how you got back on course.
• If you've received a grade of C or less in a class, please explain.

🌱 Initial motivations or strengthening experiences

• Describe a volunteer or service activity that played a large part in your decision to become a physician.
• Describe the three extracurricular activities or experiences most influential in leading you to a career in medicine.
• Write about things in your background (socioeconomic status, culture, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, work or life experiences) that have been important to your development or challenging on your path to medicine.
• Have you lived in or worked with medically underserved, economically disadvantaged, or educationally disadvantaged populations? (And how did this add to your desire to be a physician?)
• What has been your most significant patient encounter?

🔮 The future

• What do you see as the most likely practice scenario for your future medical career?
• Describe the community you anticipate practicing medicine in post-residency.
• What are your future professional aspirations?

🎬 Why the same storyline is okay

🎬 Most personal statements follow the same storyline

• During a podcast interview, Michigan State University College of Osteopathic Medicine's Dean, Dr. Strampel, stated that about 80% of personal statements they receive follow the same storyline.
• This is not something to worry about.

🎬 Uniqueness comes from your personal journey

• The excerpt compares this to popular books and movies: dozens or hundreds follow the same storyline, yet they are all different.
• As long as you stick to the goal of the personal statement—telling your personal journey—your essay will be distinct.
• Don't confuse: you don't need an artificially unique or dramatic storyline; you need to reflect authentically on your own experiences.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

Starting your personal statement requires overcoming initial paralysis by creating an uninhibited first draft through brainstorming, outlining your journey to medicine, and accepting that multiple revisions are necessary to reach a polished final product.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• When to start: Begin outlining around January for applications opening in May/June; plan for approximately 3 months and 6+ drafts.
• The core prompt: All application services ask why you want to be a doctor (your journey and motivation), not why you'll be a good doctor.
• First draft philosophy: Write uninhibited without self-editing—get ideas out of your head without worrying about quality, length, or grammar.
• Common confusion: Students think the first draft must be perfect, but it should be messy and exploratory; polishing happens through multiple iterations.
• What to avoid in brainstorming: Don't include clichés like "I like science" or "I want to help people"—these don't belong in your statement.

📝 Getting started strategies

🗓️ Timeline planning

• Applications open May/June each year for the following year's enrollment.
• Start outlining in January to allow sufficient time for drafts and feedback.
• Expect the process to take about 3 months from first outline to final draft.
• One student example: started January 24th, finished draft 13 on April 2nd.

🧠 Brainstorming approach

Students shared different starting methods:

• Reading 10-20 example statements to understand approaches.
• Writing initial drafts then waiting days before revising.
• Saving every draft version to allow for drastic changes without fear.
• Reflecting on entire life journey before identifying medicine-related themes.

🗺️ Mind mapping and outlining tools

• Use visual organization tools like mind mapping apps (e.g., MindNode) to connect thoughts.
• List-based tools like Workflowy work for linear thinkers.
• Goal: give yourself direction before writing to avoid rambling.

📋 Understanding the prompts

📜 What applications actually ask

All three major application services focus on the same core question:

Service	Key Question
AMCAS	Why have you selected medicine? What motivates you to learn more?
AACOMAS	Express your motivation or desire to become a DO
TMDSAS	Explain your motivation; include the value of experiences that prepare you

🎯 Focus on journey, not qualifications

• Prompts ask about why you want to be a doctor, not why you'll be good at it.
• TMDSAS specifically asks for the "value" of experiences—they want reflection, not just description.
• Think about: How did you first get interested? What have you done to explore? What do you hope to do?

🚫 What doesn't belong

Avoid these clichés in brainstorming:

• "I like science" or variations trying to incorporate this theme.
• "I want to help people" or statements like "people are another passion of mine."
• These are assumed for all medical school applicants and waste valuable space.

✍️ Creating your first draft

🍷 The "write drunk, edit sober" philosophy

The first draft should be uninhibited—spill thoughts and get fingers moving as fast as possible without hesitation.

• Don't edit ideas inside your head before writing them down.
• Self-editing before writing kills great ideas.
• Your first draft can be 10,000 characters of rambling mess—that's okay.
• Don't worry about word count, coherence, grammar, spelling, or punctuation initially.

🛡️ Permission to be imperfect

• The first draft is "a safe place" to practice—you don't have to show anyone.
• It doesn't have to be cohesive or make sense to others yet.
• The goal is simply to get thoughts out of your head and onto paper/screen.
• Remember: "The first draft of anything is sh*t" (attributed to Hemingway).

🔧 Tools to prevent self-editing

Several apps help bypass perfectionism:

• Ernest: Prevents deleting or editing while writing.
• Flowstate: Deletes everything if you stop typing before designated time.
• I Love Your Story (ilys.com): Won't let you edit until you reach target word count; hides text until then.
• Rev: Dictation app with transcription service—speak your thoughts during commutes, receive transcript in a day.

🎤 Dictation strategy

• Speaking prevents editing thoughts as they emerge.
• Especially useful for students with long commutes.
• Upload dictation for transcription, then edit the transcript into subsequent drafts.

🔄 The revision process

📊 How many drafts to expect

• Depends on individual needs—ranges from 3-4 drafts to 12+ drafts.
• Plan for approximately 6 drafts as a baseline.
• More important than speed: don't rush the process or delay your application.
• The personal statement is too important to hurry through.

👥 Getting feedback

• After several self-revisions, seek feedback from others.
• Fresh eyes catch unclear thoughts and grammatical errors.
• Saving every draft allows you to restore deleted content if needed.
• This prevents over-attachment to any single aspect of the statement.

⚠️ Avoiding delays

What not to do:

• Don't start late and let it delay your application.
• Don't rush through to submit as soon as possible.
• Don't try to go from first draft to final draft in one step.
• Admission committees place significant weight on the essay—treat it accordingly.

🚩 Addressing red flags

🔍 What counts as a red flag

The excerpt defines several types:

• Arrests at any time for any reason.
• Dismissal from an academic institution.
• One terrible semester between otherwise strong semesters.
• Negative grade trends (strong start/weak finish or weak start/strong finish).

🤔 To include or not to include

• Advisors disagree on whether to address red flags in the personal statement.
• The excerpt notes this debate exists but does not provide a definitive answer in the portion shown.
• The chapter title indicates disabilities and other events are also covered, but substantive guidance on these topics is not included in this excerpt.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

When writing a medical school personal statement, you should focus primarily on your journey to medicine while addressing significant red flags briefly and strategically, avoiding over-explanation of struggles or unnecessary disclosure of disabilities and addiction.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Editing is a separate process: The excerpt notes that editing and iterating is too robust for this chapter and will be covered separately with guidance on feedback sources and improvement strategies.
• Red flags should be acknowledged but not dominate: Significant issues (arrests, academic dismissal, poor semesters) need brief mention, but the personal statement should still center on why you want to be a physician.
• Common confusion—what counts as a red flag: Lower-than-average MCAT/GPA scores are NOT red flags; actual red flags include arrests, academic dismissal, and major grade fluctuations.
• Strategic disclosure of sensitive topics: Traumatic events, disabilities, and addiction should be mentioned minimally or avoided entirely to prevent giving admissions committees easy reasons to reject you.
• Character economy matters: Long explanations of problems consume precious character limits (AMCAS has character restrictions) and shift focus away from your core motivation story.

🚩 Understanding red flags

🚩 What actually qualifies as a red flag

The excerpt provides clear definitions:

Actual red flags:

• Arrests (any time, any reason)
• Academic dismissal from an institution
• Terrible semester sandwiched between good semesters
• Negative grade trends (starting poorly then improving, or starting well then declining)
• Lack of obvious prerequisites (shadowing, clinical experience, research)

NOT red flags:

• Lower than average MCAT score
• Lower than average GPA
• Personality traits (introversion, fear of talking to people, fear of confrontation)
• Fear of blood

⚖️ The admissions committee perspective

The excerpt emphasizes that admissions committees "are not so concerned" with below-average stats themselves. The key question the excerpt returns to repeatedly: "Why would an Admissions Committee take a risk on you?"

• Too many great applicants exist
• Big red flags can quickly land you in the "no" pile
• You don't want to give them an easy reason to reject your application

✍️ How to write about red flags strategically

✍️ The core principle

Red flags "need to be in your personal statement, but they should not be your personal statement."

The excerpt stresses that your personal statement must still:

• Show why you want to be a doctor
• Demonstrate reflection on your journey
• Tell stories about your motivations and passions

🎯 The goal of mentioning red flags

The excerpt states the goal clearly: "offer just enough information to satisfy them that you are aware of a possible concern in your application, and to provide just enough of a story for them to want to ask you more about it when you come for an interview."

❌ The biggest mistake students make

Going "too in depth about their red flags" and not telling their main story well enough. This turns the personal statement into "one long laundry list of problems."

Why this fails:

• Reader won't find these aspects intriguing enough to invite you for an interview
• Shows "too much risk and not enough upside"
• Doesn't convey proper message about your physician journey

📏 Character count economy

The excerpt provides specific examples of trimming explanations:

Version	Character count	Percentage of AMCAS limit
Long explanation of delayed graduation	747 characters	14% of AMCAS, ~17% of AACOMAS
Shortened version	176 characters	75% shorter

Example transformation:

• Before: Long paragraph explaining mother's health, postponed graduation, dual-enrollment classes affecting GPA, calculated GPA numbers, grade replacement policies
• After: "As the eldest child of divorced parents, I became the caretaker to my disabled mother, which led to my decision to postpone my high school graduation and college matriculation."

The excerpt notes: "There is no need to mention the calculated GPAs. That is in the application."

📍 Where to address some red flags

One student example: didn't mention academic dismissal in the personal statement but "wrote about it in the secondary applications that asked about academic hardships."

🔍 Specific red flag scenarios

🔍 Family caretaking responsibilities

The excerpt shows an example of a student who became a nurse instead of pursuing medicine initially due to caring for her sister's children and her father's stage IV cancer diagnosis.

What worked:

• Clearly explained why the detour happened
• Showed "tremendous amount of selflessness to put her family ahead of her own desires—a great trait for physicians"
• Though long, it helped overcome questions about her desire to become a physician

🔍 Financial struggles and parental issues

Example of a student whose mother spent her college fund and used her identity, causing bad credit:

What the excerpt critiques:

• Opening with "I dreamed about going to medical school, but I understood it was just that. A dream" is defeatist
• Doesn't give confidence she'll survive medical school and residency
• If you want to be a physician, "it's not a dream: it's a goal"

🔍 MCAT retakes—often NOT worth mentioning

The excerpt provides an example of a student who used 13% of AMCAS essay (almost 16% of AACOMAS) discussing MCAT retake struggles.

Why this was unnecessary:

• Retaking the MCAT "isn't that high of a hurdle in the grand scheme of things"
• Every student at this stage has displayed "persistence and grit"
• "There are better ways to show persistence and grit in a personal statement"

🛡️ Sensitive topics: trauma, disability, addiction

🛡️ Traumatic events (sexual assault)

The excerpt addresses students who have been sexually assaulted and want to write about it.

The guidance:

• It takes bravery to write about trauma
• However, "you don't want to make the reader uncomfortable"
• You don't want them to "only remember you because of their discomfort"
• Mention that you were attacked or assaulted "without going in-depth into the details"

Example approach: "I was assaulted towards the end of my freshman year... I tried to continue on, but after a while realized I needed to take some time away from the campus to process the experience and to heal."

• This explains a gap in education without graphic details
• "Any logical person reading this personal statement will infer that she was raped"
• Much easier to digest than deeply personal details
• Save deeper discussions for the interview

Key principle from the excerpt: "Your personal statement is meant to be personal. I don't want you to change your story just to avoid a particular topic." But tell it "in as few details as possible, leaving room for the rest of your journey, and making sure to keep the reader comfortable."

🛡️ Disability

The excerpt shares the story of Jeff, a legally blind physician:

First application cycle:

• Wrote extensively about his disability
• It was "all over his application"
• Received several interviews
• Was interviewed by an ophthalmologist who tested his vision (the excerpt notes "I'm not a lawyer, but I think that is illegal")
• Not accepted anywhere

Second application cycle:

• Took advice not to mention his disability
• Interviewed again
• Was accepted
• Notified the school about his disability after acceptance
• They accommodated him with no issues

The excerpt's recommendation: "I recommend you don't mention this in your personal statement."

Reasoning:

• Medical schools will have to accommodate you, "and they may not want to"
• "It's a sad reality. They can reject you, and you'll never know why"
• Average acceptance rate is below 40%
• "You should not give the Admissions Committee any easy reason to remove your application from contention"
• Get invited for interview first; if they can see your disability then, answer questions about it
• This approach lets you "make a great first impression so that they can see you for you and not your disability"

Exception: The excerpt mentions David (Session 252) who wrote about ADHD because "it was an integral part of him deciding to become a physician." The excerpt acknowledges: "The last thing I want you to do is to change your story to avoid writing about a disability. You need to be true to yourself and honest about your journey."

Don't confuse:

• Physical/mental health conditions vs. integral-to-your-journey elements
• If a potential red flag defines your path, talk with your advisor about how to tell that story "without giving the Admissions Committee an easy way to reject your application"

🛡️ Addiction

The excerpt addresses drug and alcohol addiction as a catalyst for finding meaning.

Core concern: "If you've been sober for five years, does that give the Admissions Committee enough reassurance that once you encounter the rigors of medical school, you won't relapse?"

The recommendation:

• If you've had no legal troubles and your journey is otherwise normal: "I would completely avoid writing about your addiction"
• Returns to the key question: "Why would an Admissions Committee take a risk on you?"
• "There are too many great applicants, and a big red flag, like addiction, can quickly land you in the 'no' pile"

If you have other red flags from addiction:

• Poor grades, arrests, etc. need explanation
• "Explain those things as best you can without going into too much detail about your addiction"

Example of confusion: One student wrote about a friend who overdosed on heroin. The reader assumed the student was addicted to heroin. Actually, the student was addicted to Adderall. The excerpt notes: "There is a huge difference in the stigma between those two drugs."

Example of brief mention: "The next five years were a rollercoaster ride through the world of addiction, taking a toll on my academic focus and motivation. Had I began my college career with the mindset I found in sobriety, I may have graduated with close..." (excerpt cuts off here)

🎓 Balancing honesty with strategy

🎓 The authenticity principle

The excerpt repeatedly emphasizes not making things up:

• "The last thing I want you to do is to change your story"
• "You need to be true to yourself and honest about your journey"
• "If you make something up for your personal statement, and you're asked about it during an interview, it's usually pretty easy for the interviewer to see through your claims"

🎓 When to consult advisors

"If a potential red flag defines your path, talk with your advisor about how to best tell that story without giving the Admissions Committee an easy way to reject your application."

🎓 The interview as safety net

Multiple examples show that brief mentions in the personal statement can lead to interview questions where you can provide fuller explanations:

• The student who was assaulted "was asked directly about this event and its impact" during interviews
• The goal is to provide "just enough of a story for them to want to ask you more about it when you come for an interview"

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

Medical school applicants should carefully weigh whether to disclose major red flags like addiction in their applications, and when they do tell their stories, they must show experiences through sensory details rather than simply stating facts.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Red flags and risk: Admissions committees receive thousands of applications and interview only 10-20%, so major red flags like addiction can quickly result in rejection unless carefully handled.
• Show vs. tell: Telling states facts ("I volunteered"), while showing uses sensory details and action to make the reader feel present in the story.
• Common confusion: Students often confuse listing activities with storytelling—the difference is whether you engage the reader's senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste).
• The "I [verb]" test: Frequent "I watched," "I shadowed," "I began" statements signal you're telling rather than showing.
• Strategic disclosure: The application's goal is to get an interview; deeper explanations of red flags are safer in interviews where follow-up questions can provide context.

🚩 Handling red flags and addiction

🚩 When to disclose addiction

• The central question: "Why would an Admissions Committee take a risk on you?"
• If you've been sober for five years with no legal troubles and an otherwise normal journey, the excerpt recommends completely avoiding writing about addiction.
• Too many great applicants exist; a big red flag can quickly land you in the "no" pile.

📝 How to address related issues

• If other red flags stem from addiction (poor grades, arrests), explain those specific issues without going into detail about the addiction itself.
• Example from the excerpt: A student wrote about addiction starting with a friend's heroin overdose, leading readers to assume heroin addiction, when the actual issue was Adderall—a significant difference in stigma.
• The student's approach: acknowledged the addiction took a toll on academic focus but framed struggles as valuable lessons, stating he wouldn't change past mistakes because "every moment of my struggle with addiction taught me lessons that I don't believe can be found in any textbook."

🎯 Strategic timing

• The application's goal is to secure an interview.
• During interviews, you can explore your story more deeply because interviewers can ask follow-up questions.
• This makes interviews a safer place to discuss sensitive topics that truly need mentioning.

✍️ The show-don't-tell principle

🎨 What showing means

Showing: using sensory details and action words to help the reader feel present in your story, activating their five senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste).

• Telling states facts and describes what you did; it's how the majority of applicants write.
• Telling is boring, not memorable, and conveys similar ideas to thousands of other students.
• Showing is memorable—the excerpt's author can easily recall great stories from years ago because students did such a good job showing that he "felt like I was there with them."

🧠 Why showing works

• Humans have five senses; the more senses you activate, the more memorable your story becomes.
• Similar to how a sound or smell can draw you back to a memory—you want to create this effect for your reader.
• The most memorable personal statements didn't just tell that the student volunteered; they showed what they did, the impact on an individual, or the impact on themselves.

🔍 Identifying and fixing telling statements

🔍 The "I [verb]" diagnostic test

Quick way to identify telling:

• Count how many times you use "I [verb]" statements: "I watched," "I shadowed," "I began," "I joined," "I led."
• The more of these you have, the more your statement is telling rather than showing.
• Don't worry—you can't remove them completely, but use them sparingly and try rewording sentences to be more showing.

❌ Example: telling about shyness

Original telling version:

• "Even as a child I have always been fairly shy."
• "I tend to be quiet and reserved and have thus found myself in supportive roles."
• "When performing intakes of new patients... I was at their service."
• "I was there to listen, take notes, and ask questions."

Problems:

• Opens with a potentially negative trait
• Tries to sell shyness as positive, which doesn't come off well
• States facts without engaging senses
• The whole paragraph is a pitch rather than a story

✅ Improved: showing service

Revised showing version:

• "I led Jane back to the exam room where the physician would see her after I was done checking her in. This was her first visit and I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was nervous. As I do with every patient, I asked her how we could help her today. As she began talking, I listened and made sure that she knew I was paying attention, even as I was taking notes. The longer we talked, the more I could see Jane relax…"

Why it works:

• Action words: "led," "talking," "listening" engage the reader's senses
• "Tone in her voice" forces the reader to imagine the sound
• Shows service through specific interaction rather than stating it

📚 More transformation examples

📚 Epiphany moment (telling)

Original:

• "Call it an epiphany but right at that moment I knew I had come full circle. I had an overwhelming sense of illumination in my heart and soul. That moment I began formulating a game plan to achieve my passion and my calling which had never left my heart: that of being a physician."

Problem: Tells the reader this was his passion and calling but never explains why.

📚 Explosion scene transformation

Original telling:

• "In 2013, I had already begun my journey to change my life and career to one of service to others. It was during this time that I watched the catastrophic results of the explosion. I found myself feeling humble, yet hopeful with the anticipation that in a few years, I would be running toward the scene to be of service to those in need, rather than simply sitting idly by watching the news, feeling helpless."

Revised showing:

• "Watching the smoke rising from the catastrophic explosion, I felt helpless. I was sitting watching on the news, when what I really wanted to be doing was running toward the scene to help those in need. I knew at this moment that I had made the right decision three years ago to begin on my path to medical school."

Why it's better: Shorter, more impactful, more memorable; active words like "watching" instead of "watched" paint a picture and pull the reader in.

🎭 Acting career transformation

Original telling:

• "After graduating from State University, I spent several years working as an actress. A genuine curiosity about the human psyche is what drew me to the acting profession."

Problem: Just states facts; doesn't engage any senses.

Revised showing:

• "I stood up from my desk and tried again, repeating the lines that were burned into my brain from hours of repetition and rehearsal. I imagined the hunger pangs that pierced my abdomen, the dull headache, the weakness in my limbs, and the utter exhaustion of my spirit. I was long past the memorization stage and now onto discovering how to make the playwright's words come alive."

Why it works: Immediately pictures the student rehearsing; draws the reader into what she's doing and thinking; creates intrigue.

🏥 Clinic opening scene

Original telling:

• "Over the years, my medical interests helped me excel in the science track in high school to the point of becoming a certified first aid and CPR instructor. I knew that I wanted to be a physician. However, after high school, the stark reality of my family's humble status came to bear..."

Revised showing:

• "We stood outside, a mass of bodies sweating in the sweltering Florida sunshine. Around us were the gritty, low-income apartments and run-down single family homes that bracketed the parking lot where we gathered. The main door was decorated with a velveteen congratulatory red ribbon that signified the Chamber of Commerce was about to perform another ribbon cutting ceremony for a new business. This was our business, One Health, a free clinic in Tampa, FL."

Why it works: Paints a picture with descriptions of surroundings and environment; reveals the student is a business owner, which piques interest; makes the reader want to keep reading.

👨‍✈️ Military scene (strong showing)

Example of excellent showing:

• "Sprinting from a beating helicopter and fighting to see through the dust and night vision goggles in the middle of the night in Iraq, I was doing everything I could to clear a safe path for my strike force. Trying to see through the grit was like trying to blink away sweat while opening the door to a hot oven."

Why it works: Descriptive words and vivid comparisons make your heart race; creates urgency and draws you into the experience; makes you want to keep reading.

👩‍🏫 First-grade teacher scene

Example:

• "There were fourteen beady-eyes staring up at me. Seven first graders were eagerly awaiting to begin their first music lesson of the year. Unbeknownst to them, I was frozen in place filled to the brim with dread while my mind was ruminating on my huge mistake of a career choice."

Why it works: Descriptive words ("beady-eyes," "eagerly awaiting," "frozen in place," "ruminating") draw the reader in; shows the epiphany through sensory details rather than stating it.

🎯 Key takeaway

🎯 The first goal of each sentence

• Make the reader want to keep reading.
• This isn't creative writing—it's strategic storytelling that shows who you are through sensory details and action.
• Review your writing for "I [verb]" statements as a diagnostic tool.
• Don't confuse: You can't avoid "I [verb]" statements altogether, but minimize them and reword sentences to be more showing when possible.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

Showing your experiences through vivid storytelling makes your personal statement memorable and unique, whereas merely telling facts about yourself leaves the reader unmoved and confused about your true motivations.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• The core distinction: "Showing" uses sensory details and narrative to immerse the reader in your experience; "telling" simply states facts like "I was a teacher" or "I volunteered."
• The "I [verb]" test: Review your draft for "I [verb]" statements—the more you have outside of story context, the more you are likely just telling rather than showing.
• Why showing matters: Showing activates the reader's senses and emotions, making your story memorable; telling is forgettable and interchangeable with other applicants.
• Common confusion: Students think common experiences (personal illness, family illness, shadowing) are "clichéd," but experiences are always unique when told through your personal lens and storytelling.
• Balance and refinement: There's no perfect ratio of showing vs. telling, but showing should dominate; ask readers if your statement intrigued them or just informed them.

📖 What "showing" looks like in practice

📖 Concrete examples from real statements

The excerpt contrasts telling vs. showing with side-by-side examples:

Telling version:

"I was a first-grade music teacher and I realized that what had been my lifelong dream of being a music educator wasn't what I wanted to do anymore."

• This is a flat statement of fact.
• The reader learns the information but feels nothing.

Showing version (helicopter raid example):

"Sprinting from a beating helicopter and fighting to see through the dust and night vision goggles in the middle of the night in Iraq, I was doing everything I could to clear a safe path for my strike force. Trying to see through the grit was like trying to blink away sweat while opening the door to a hot oven."

• Sensory details: dust, night vision, grit, heat.
• Action verbs: sprinting, fighting, clearing.
• Emotional stakes: "I was absolutely terrified. What was I doing here?"
• The reader's heart races; you want to keep reading.

🎬 Why showing works

• Immersion: The reader is transported into your moment; they see, hear, and feel what you experienced.
• Memorability: Vivid scenes stick in the reader's mind far longer than a list of facts.
• Authenticity: Showing reveals who you are through your reactions and choices, not just what you did.

Example: The student who peeked behind the forbidden door as his mother delivered babies in their living room—this image is unforgettable and uniquely his.

🔍 How to identify "telling" in your draft

🔍 The "I [verb]" diagnostic

Look for "I [verb]" statements in your writing. The more of these you have, the more telling you are likely doing.

• "I [verb]" is not forbidden—context matters.
• If "I [verb]" appears inside a story (e.g., "I sprinted," "I held her hand"), it's part of showing.
• If "I [verb]" is a standalone summary (e.g., "I volunteered," "I realized," "I decided"), it's telling.

Don't confuse: The presence of "I [verb]" alone doesn't mean you're telling; check whether it's embedded in narrative or standing alone as a fact.

🧪 The reader test

Ask someone to read your statement and answer:

• Were you intrigued by my story, or did you just feel informed about who I am?
• Did any parts fail to activate your senses or make you want to know more?
• If the answer is "just informed" or "no sensory activation," those sections need more showing.

🌱 Being unique: your experiences are always original

🌱 Why "clichéd" topics aren't clichéd when you tell them

The excerpt defines cliché as:

"A phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought."

• Common topics: personal illness, family illness/death, family members in healthcare, wanting to help, fascination with science.
• Key insight: These are not phrases or opinions—they are personal experiences.
• Experiences are always original because you lived them through the lens of your entire life history.

Example analogy from the excerpt:

• Give every student the same book; each will learn something different based on their unique life lens.
• Your parent's illness is different from another student's parent's illness because of everything else you've experienced.

🌱 Why students mistakenly avoid "common" topics

• Students think their initial motivation (e.g., a sports injury, a family member's illness) isn't unique enough.
• They try to be "too creative" or invent a different story.
• Result: The reader is confused about your true motivation, and your application ends up in the "do not interview" pile.

Don't confuse: Uniqueness comes from storytelling and your personal lens, not from having a rare triggering event.

🌱 The only story you can tell

"This specific student is the only one who can tell this story. It's unique."

• If you write generically ("I volunteered in an underserved clinic and want to give back"), your statement is interchangeable with anyone else's.
• If you show your specific memory (peeking behind the forbidden door, hearing your mother's clipped instructions), no one else can copy it.

Example from the excerpt:

"I can't stop staring at the door. Doors have become a recurring theme in my life... I stared at the forbidden door that held the mysteries of childbirth behind it. I heard my mother, a seasoned midwife, utter clipped instructions to laboring mothers."

• This is 100% unique to this student.
• The reader is transported to that humid living room.

🌿 From seed to plant: structuring your journey

🌿 The "planting the seed" analogy

• Your initial exposure to medicine is the seed.
• Ask yourself: "What was that initial experience that planted the seed for me?"
• You can't stop there—the personal statement must show how the seed grew.

🌿 Common mistake: stopping at the seed

The worst personal statements:

• "I was sick, I loved my doctor, I shadowed, I knew I wanted to be a doctor."
• This is all telling; it gives no depth or growth.

The best personal statements:

• Show the initial moment (the seed).
• Show subsequent experiences that watered and nurtured that seed.
• Show how you grew and why you are now ready to pursue medicine.

🌿 Example: the EMT student

• Student initially said his interest was working as an EMT.
• Problem: He was already in healthcare; being an EMT doesn't explain why he entered healthcare.
• Drilling down: His true seed was a sports injury in high school.
• The injury → interest in healing → became an EMT → motivated to explore becoming a physician.
• Lesson: Don't skip the true beginning of your journey just because it feels common.

Don't confuse: Your current role (EMT, scribe, volunteer) is not your initial motivation—it's part of your growth after the seed was planted.

🎭 Storytelling separates you from others

🎭 The Hero's Journey parallel

• The excerpt uses Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) and Neo (The Matrix) as examples.
• Both follow the Hero's Journey archetype, but their stories are completely different.
• Why? George Lucas and the Wachowskis showed different backgrounds, experiences, and character reactions through storytelling.

🎭 How to apply this to your statement

• Even if your "seed" is the same as another applicant's (e.g., both had a sports injury), your storytelling will be different.
• Show your specific moment: What did you see, hear, feel? What did you think? How did you react?
• Show your growth: What did you do next? What did you learn? How did that shape your path?

Example from the excerpt (volunteer in hospital):

"You should go talk to M. She was an actress, just like you!" ... I knocked on M's door... She paused and then burst into tears... M told me that none of her friends had come to visit, she just found out she had cancer, and an hour ago she received an IRS notice which would bankrupt her... I did not say much; I held her hand and listened."

• This student could have told: "I volunteered in the hospital and talked to patients."
• Instead, she showed: the knock, the tears, the cascade of bad news, the act of holding a hand.
• The reader feels the weight of that moment.

🎭 The interchangeability test

• If you can copy and paste a sentence from your statement into another applicant's and it still makes sense, rewrite it.
• Your statement should be so specific to you that no one else could claim it.

✅ Summary and action steps

✅ Key takeaways

• Showing > telling: Showing is memorable; telling is forgettable.
• Your experiences are unique: Don't avoid "common" topics—your personal lens and storytelling make them original.
• The "I [verb]" test: Use it to diagnose telling; refine those sections with sensory details and narrative.
• Ask for feedback: Have someone read your draft and tell you if they were intrigued or just informed.

✅ What to do next

1. Review your draft for "I [verb]" statements outside of story context.
2. Identify sections that feel flat or interchangeable—rewrite them with sensory details and specific moments.
3. Make sure your initial "seed" experience is clear and shown, not just stated.
4. Show the growth from seed to plant: What experiences nurtured your interest? How did you respond?
5. Ask a reader: "Does this activate your senses? Do you want to know more about me?"

Final reminder from the excerpt:

"There is no perfect ratio of telling vs. showing. Just remember that showing is much more memorable, which is what you want."

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

The way to avoid clichés in your personal statement is to show your unique experiences and journey through storytelling rather than telling generic facts or trying to sell your skills to the admissions committee.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Show, don't tell: Use specific stories and details to reveal who you are, rather than stating generic facts about your path to medicine.
• Write about why you want to be a physician: The personal statement should focus on your motivation and journey, not on arguing why you'll be a good doctor.
• Common confusion: Students often think they should highlight their skills and traits (compassion, dedication, teamwork), but this turns the personal statement into a persuasive essay rather than an authentic narrative.
• What makes stories unique: Even if your journey follows common patterns (like the Hero's Journey), your specific experiences and how you show them through storytelling make you stand out.
• Key pitfalls to avoid: Lying/exaggerating, writing about overly emotional topics you can't discuss calmly in interviews, claiming to understand physician life before becoming one, and forcing in "relevant" skills instead of staying personal.

✍️ The power of showing vs telling

✍️ What "showing" means

• Showing means using specific scenes, dialogue, and details to let the reader experience your story and draw their own conclusions about who you are.
• Telling means simply stating facts: "I volunteered in a hospital and did patient surveys."
• The excerpt emphasizes that showing is "so much more powerful" because it reveals character traits (empathy, listening skills) without having to state them directly.

📖 The hospital volunteer example

The excerpt provides a detailed example of effective showing:

What the student showed (not told):

• Specific dialogue: "You should go talk to M. She was an actress, just like you!"
• The patient's situation: burst into tears, just found out about cancer, received an IRS notice, felt her world was crumbling
• The student's response: "I'm not just here for the survey. I can also listen if you need someone to talk to." Then held the patient's hand and listened.

Why this works:

• The reader can see the student is empathetic and a good listener without being told these traits.
• It shows what the student was actually doing, not just that she volunteered.
• Example contrast: Most students would just write "I volunteered in the hospital and walked around to see different patients and do patient feedback surveys"—this is weak telling.

🎬 The Hero's Journey analogy

• The excerpt uses Luke Skywalker and Neo as examples: both follow the Hero's Journey archetype, but their stories aren't the same.
• What makes them different is how the writers showed each character's journey through storytelling—Luke's childhood, his aunt and uncle's death, meeting Obi-Wan and Yoda vs. Neo's completely different background and experiences.
• Don't confuse: Following a common pattern (like "got sick → loved my doctor → shadowed → wanted to be a doctor") isn't inherently clichéd; it's clichéd when you only tell the pattern instead of showing your unique experiences within it.

🚫 What to avoid: trying to sell yourself

🚫 Don't write about doctor/medical student skills

The personal statement is not the place to tell the reader that you think you have the skills and traits necessary to be a physician.

• Students commonly try to highlight their dedication, compassion, intelligence, teamwork, and other skills.
• This is what "the student thinks the reader wants to read about," but it's wrong.
• Why this fails: As soon as you start selling yourself to the admissions committee, "you are no longer writing a personal statement. Instead, you are writing a persuasive paper about why they should interview you."

Example of what NOT to do (massage therapist): A nontraditional student wrote: "I have developed and honed interpersonal, team, and practical skills that will be invaluable as a physician, such as: taking health histories, asking keen questions, balancing compassionate care with efficiency..."

• This is selling skills, not showing a personal journey.

Example of what NOT to do (mother): "Like a doctor, a mother works long hours, is always on call and must carefully observe her charges... When faced with a difficult task, I tell myself, if I have raised 5 kids, I can do anything."

• The excerpt notes: "Knowing that a student is a mother tells me all of this already."
• This took up almost 10% of the essay and "none of this needed to be included."

🎯 The real goal

• Your job is NOT to highlight your strengths or argue why you'll be a great physician.
• Your job IS to show why you want to be a physician through your experiences.
• "Let your stories and your path show the reader how interesting you are and let them determine if your experiences match up to the types of students for which they are looking."

🔄 Turning weak stories into strong ones

🔄 The EMT example (weak version)

The excerpt shows a student who described treating a patient who fell:

• Described the teamwork: attaching cervical collar, backboarding, delegating roles, coordinating actions
• Concluded: "The skills I gained as an EMT to function in a team successfully will be an asset for my future colleagues and patients."

What's wrong:

• The focus is on demonstrating teamwork and communication skills.
• The message is "why I think I'm going to be a good physician," not "why I want to be one."
• The excerpt asks: "How was she able to help the patient? Why did that make her feel good? Why does she want more of that in the future?"

🔄 The same student's strong example

Later, the same student wrote about administering an EpiPen at camp:

• "After he normalized, he gave me a hug and said 'thank you, you saved my life.'"
• "I felt an overwhelming sense of gratification and happiness."
• "This camp was a second home for me, and for me to be able to use my knowledge to save those that I considered family was heartwarming and reassuring of the path I was following."
• "Treating the child made me eager to expand my knowledge of medicine and determine to become a physician so that I could provide care to a broader community."

Why this works:

• The reader can picture the scene and the patient's response.
• It shows why the experience was important to the student.
• It connects the experience to motivation ("made me eager," "determine to become a physician").

⚠️ Other critical pitfalls

⚠️ Lying and exaggerating

• Some students try to exaggerate something about themselves every year.
• Don't do this: If you have a committee letter and they know you're exaggerating, "they will call you out in your committee letter."
• Even without a committee letter, getting caught in a lie "will ruin your chances of acceptance to any medical school."

⚠️ Overly emotional topics

• If you cry when talking about certain topics (e.g., passing of a parent), don't write about them.
• Why: Even though you can cry while writing, the interviewer may ask about these events during the interview.
• If you start crying in the interview, the interviewer "is going to picture you bawling when you're giving bad news to her mom."
• The excerpt advises: "If you don't think you can maintain your composure when discussing this part of your life in an interview, don't write about it in your personal statement."

⚠️ Claiming to know physician life

• Students sometimes try to comment on what being a physician is like, even though they are not physicians yet.
• Example of what to avoid: "Being a physician is one of the most important teaching positions of all."
• The excerpt notes this is "a very benign comment," but "when a student claims to know different aspects of being a physician, it can come across badly."
• Some readers won't care; some may take offense.

⚠️ Forcing in "relevant" information

• Nontraditional students especially fall into this trap because they have great experiences outside of school and try to include them.
• The problem: "This fails the first rule of the personal statement: it needs to be personal."
• "As soon as you start forcing in information that you think will be relevant for the reader to know, especially regarding skills and traits, it's no longer personal."
• Exception: Red flags that need to be discussed.

Example (computer programmer changing careers): A student wrote about how his programming career prepared him for medical school:

• "It has given me many years of experience in honing my analytical skills."
• "I have regularly been tasked with determining the source of issues with only an array of symptoms, a number of tests that can be run, and my own deductive abilities."
• This is forcing in skills and making analogies rather than staying personal.

🎯 The core principle

🎯 Stay focused on your journey

If the core of your personal statement is about your own experiences, then you are not being clichéd.

• Write about your experiences, your emotions, and the impacts each experience had on you.
• Write based on what has motivated you to become a physician, not anything else.
• Don't worry about what you think the admissions committee wants to read—"If you try to do this, you'll stumble into the cliché because your thoughts will no longer be original."

🎯 What gets you invited for an interview

What students think works	What actually works
Telling the reader you're dedicated, compassionate, intelligent	Being interesting through authentic storytelling
Highlighting skills and traits	Showing your unique journey and motivation
Writing persuasively about why you'll be a great physician	Showing why you want to be a physician

• "You will not be invited for an interview based on such statements [about your skills]."
• "You will be invited for an interview because you are interesting, not because you tell the reader you will be a great physician."

🎯 Help the admissions committee

• Medical schools are "trying to build communities with each class."
• They want "students who will contribute their unique backgrounds and personalities."
• "They can only do that if you are honest about who you are in your personal statement and discuss your journey authentically."
• "Make their jobs easier by staying away from trying to sell yourself."

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

The personal statement must focus exclusively on why you want to be a physician through authentic personal experiences, avoiding the temptation to sell your skills, list accomplishments, or include anything that distracts from your genuine motivation.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Core purpose: The personal statement exists to show why you want to be a physician, not to argue why you'll be a good one or to list your qualifications.
• Authenticity over persuasion: As soon as you start selling yourself or claiming to understand physician life, you've stopped writing a personal statement and started writing a persuasive essay.
• Stand-alone document: Your statement should not reference other parts of your application, repeat résumé details, or rely on extracurricular descriptions.
• Common confusion: Students think they must demonstrate skills and dedication explicitly, but the committee already expects dedication from every applicant—your job is to be interesting and authentic, not to prove you're qualified.
• Emotional and negative pitfalls: Avoid topics that make you cry (they'll come up in interviews), negativity about past experiences or physicians, and anything that shows frustration or complaining.

🚫 What not to write about

🎯 Wrong focus: selling yourself instead of showing motivation

The goal of the personal statement is to show why you want to be a physician, not to argue why you think you'll be a good one.

• Many students mistakenly believe they must highlight strengths like dedication, compassion, intelligence, and teamwork.
• The excerpt emphasizes: "You will not be invited for an interview based on such statements. You will be invited for an interview because you are interesting."
• The committee's job is to evaluate whether you have what it takes—your job is not to tell them you think you do.

Example of what to avoid: A massage therapist wrote: "I have developed and honed interpersonal, team, and practical skills that will be invaluable as a physician, such as: taking health histories, asking keen questions, balancing compassionate care with efficiency..."

• This is selling skills, not explaining motivation.
• It turns the statement into a persuasive paper.

Example of what to avoid: A mother wrote: "Like a doctor, a mother works long hours, is always on call and must carefully observe her charges... When faced with a difficult task, I tell myself, if I have raised 5 kids, I can do anything."

• This took up almost 10% of the essay space.
• The excerpt notes: "Knowing that a student is a mother tells me all of this already."

🩺 Don't claim to understand physician life

• You are not a physician yet.
• Some readers may take offense to claims that you understand what being a physician is like or the struggles they face.
• Avoid statements like "Being a physician is one of the most important teaching positions of all."
• Even benign comments can come across badly when a student claims insider knowledge.

💬 Emotional topics that make you cry

• If discussing a topic (e.g., death of a parent) makes you cry, don't write about it.
• Why: Interviewers will ask about what you wrote, and crying in a professional interview setting is problematic.
• The excerpt warns: "If you start bawling in the interview, she is going to picture you bawling when you're giving bad news to her mom."
• Written safety is an illusion—the topic becomes fair game in interviews.

📋 Structural mistakes to avoid

📄 The résumé trap

• Your personal statement should not read like a résumé or overview of your life.
• Don't use your primary application as an outline for your statement.
• Why force the reader to read your story twice—once in the formatted application and again in the statement?

Example of résumé-style writing: "In my undergraduate years, I was eager to find others who had similar dreams of becoming a doctor. I began volunteering in my community and joined several organizations... I also found myself captivated by research conducted by one of my professors..."

• This could all be written in extracurricular descriptions.
• It doesn't help the reader understand the student's motivations.

🔗 Don't reference the application

• Your statement must stand alone.
• Someone should be able to read it without seeing the rest of your application and understand why you want to be a physician.
• Never write things like: "As you can see from the extracurricular list, I've been very involved in research..."
• Write assuming the committee member only has access to the statement and nothing else.

📊 Don't include unnecessary details about extracurriculars

Common confusion: "But my extracurriculars are the reason I want to be a physician!"

• If there's a story that reinforced your desire, tell that story.
• Don't give extra details or list activities.

Example of unnecessary detail: "Plan in place I returned to college spring 2012 and shortly after started working full-time as a phlebotomist at Norman Regional Hospital while going to school. One particular day stands out above all others."

• The details about 2012, working full-time, and the hospital name waste valuable character space.
• The real heart comes after the transition to the story.

⚠️ Content to eliminate

🤥 Lying and exaggerating

• Some students exaggerate in their statement or application every year.
• If your undergraduate committee knows you're exaggerating, they will call you out in your committee letter.
• Getting caught in a lie ruins your chances at any medical school.

🌐 General statements and facts

"This is a very general statement" is one of the other more common pieces of feedback that I give to students.

• You only have 4,500-5,300 characters—don't waste space on statements that aren't unique to you.

Example of general statements: "Having to decide on a future career at a young age was a difficult choice for me to make. There was an entire world of careers, each different and unique, but which path was meant for me?"

• Is deciding on a career early hard? Yes. Is it unique to this applicant? No.
• This was the opening to a statement—hitting the reader with generalities before addressing "Why medicine?"

Example of unnecessary information: "I needed to fully invest myself in medicine... so I enrolled in a post-baccalaureate premed program at State University where I received a second Bachelor's in Health Sciences with a 3.85 GPA."

• This information is already in the application.
• It takes up almost 5% of the osteopathic application essay.
• It doesn't make the student unique or give new information.

💬 Quotes from others

• Quotes are other people's words, not yours.
• Every character counts—students struggle to cut sentences and find shorter words.
• If you must use a quote, keep it short, don't make it a central focal point, and credit the author.
• The excerpt author admits using a quote in his own statement but now advises against it.

🎨 Themes and creative writing

The personal statement is not a creative writing piece.

• Theming your essay distracts the reader from your true message.

Example of excessive theming (jungle metaphor):

• "This confusion made me feel as if I was stuck in a jungle."
• "Provided for me a path out of the jungle and into the world of medicine."
• "I was slowly making my way out of the jungle."
• "I noticed my peers changing their career paths and navigating through their own jungles."
• "Escaping the jungle helped me find my way to medicine."
• The excerpt notes: "When I'm reading a personal statement about why you want to be a doctor, the last thing that I expect to read about is the jungle."

Example of excessive theming (engagement metaphor):

• "I am engaged. And like my friends who are engaged, but in a much different way, I am elated."
• "Engaged is a word a woman of my age, from a small town in rural Alabama, hears quite often."
• "I am fully and deeply engaged in a wholly different way."
• "I learned at a young age to be fully engaged in every activity..."
• The theme continued throughout the draft.

🔤 Abbreviations and jargon

• Don't assume the reader knows abbreviations from your field or experience.
• Example: Don't refer to preexposure prophylaxis as PrEP without defining it, even if you work with HIV/AIDS.
• Don't import abbreviations from other parts of your application without redefining them in the statement.
• Avoid slowing down the reader—once they have to pause to understand, you start to lose them.

😠 Negativity and criticism

❌ Any form of negativity is an application killer

If you're negative about your prior career, a past professor, or any other aspect of your life... you are giving the Admissions Committee an easy reason to pass on inviting you for an interview.

• Negativity shows you likely aren't a good fit for the class.
• The committee wants to know you're motivated to push through tough times.

Example of subtle negativity: "I grew bored memorizing facts and became more interested in assessing and solving problems."

• This made the reader wonder if the student would also grow bored during medical school (which involves a lot of memorizing).

Example of patient negativity: A student described a patient as "ornery."

• If you're already frustrated enough to mention it in your statement, the committee will worry about how much more frustrated you'll get during training.

🩺 Bad physician encounters

• Don't write negatively about physicians as your motivation to become one.
• A physician treating your family member poorly shouldn't be your main reason for wanting to be a physician.
• While it may have opened your eyes to medicine, writing negatively accomplishes nothing.

Example of negative physician portrayal: "After my mother was told that she would get better by attending psychological counseling, I was in disbelief. Her symptoms were real but this doctor thought she was imagining them. I could not fathom how a doctor could dismiss a patient instead of digging deeper into the matter, so I felt the absolute need to change this approach."

• How does the student know the doctor dismissed the patient?
• The excerpt notes: "I would worry that the student's main motivation is to prove this doctor wrong."

Example of negative healthcare portrayal: "I have observed trembling hands of physicians in front of helpless patients being intubated or their frustrated eyes before administrative policies that hinder them from providing effective patient care."

🔄 Nontraditional career changers: don't focus on leaving

• If you're changing careers, don't write about why you're leaving your old career.
• The reader wants to know why you're excited to start a new one.
• Focus on: Why do you want to be a physician? Not: Why I don't want to be a computer programmer.
• It's very easy to bring negativity into stories about leaving a prior career—avoid this at all costs.
• Writing about a bad boss or poor experiences shows you're a complainer who will probably complain as a medical student and physician.

Example of what to avoid: "I have chosen to pursue medicine due to a calling to assist people in a more meaningful and fulfilling way."

• This is a complaint aimed at the current career (it isn't meaningful or fulfilling).
• Helping people meaningfully can be accomplished in thousands of careers.
• The excerpt cautions: "If you are looking for something external to fulfill you, you may be searching for that for the rest of your life."

Example of what to include instead: "Working full time throughout my undergraduate studies in order to support my wife and daughter slowed my educational progress... but my desire to serve others never wavered. I took a job at a healthcare information system company so that I could support my wife's educational goals and provide a stable income for our family while remaining close to medicine."

• Not negative about the old career.
• Shows responsibility, family commitment, organization, and ability to handle multiple responsibilities.

📖 Story-telling mistakes

🎭 Showing skills instead of showing motivation

Don't confuse: Demonstrating you helped a patient vs. demonstrating you have teamwork skills.

Example of focusing on skills (weak): "One day, while on call, an elderly patient had slipped and fallen... Treating for a spinal injury, the other EMTs and I, worked together to attach a cervical collar and backboard the patient... I was in charge of stabilizing the head, two other EMTs were in charge of logrolling the patient, and the fourth had to slide the backboard under... I told my team to 'log roll on three,' and proceeded to count to three... I learned that by coordinating our actions, we can move towards treating the patient more efficiently and effectively. The skills I gained as an EMT to function in a team successfully will be an asset for my future colleagues and patients."

• The message is: "I have good communication and teamwork skills and I think those will help me in the future."
• The goal is not to tell why you think you'll be a good physician; it's to tell why you want to be one.

Example of focusing on motivation (strong): The same student later wrote: "I quickly administered him an EpiPen, and then sat with him to monitor his vitals. After he normalized, he gave me a hug and said 'thank you, you saved my life.' It was at this moment that I felt an overwhelming sense of gratification and happiness. This camp was a second home for me, and for me to be able to use my knowledge to save those that I considered family was heartwarming and reassuring of the path I was following. Treating the child made me eager to expand my knowledge of medicine and determine to become a physician so that I could provide care to a broader community."

• The reader can picture her taking care of the patient and imagine the patient's response.
• It's clear why this was important enough to mention in the statement.

🎯 Remember the core principle

What students think they should do	What they should actually do
Prove they have the skills to be a physician	Show why they want to be a physician
Demonstrate dedication and compassion	Be interesting and authentic
List accomplishments and experiences	Tell personal stories with emotional impact
Show they understand physician life	Share their own journey and motivations

• Medical schools are building communities with each class.
• They want students who will contribute unique backgrounds and personalities.
• They can only do that if you are honest about who you are and discuss your journey authentically.
• Make their jobs easier by staying away from trying to sell yourself.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

Although different medical school application services have different character limits, your core story about why you want to become a physician should remain consistent across all applications, with extra space used to strengthen rather than dilute your narrative.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Three application services exist: AACOMAS (osteopathic schools, 4,500 characters), AMCAS (allopathic schools, 5,300 characters), and TMDSAS (Texas schools, 5,000 characters).
• Core story stays the same: your journey, motivation, and goals don't change between application services—only the length adjusts.
• Use all available space: writing to the shortest limit and reusing it everywhere may appear lazy; extra characters should showcase additional experiences or expand on future goals.
• Common confusion about osteopathic essays: don't force the word "osteopathic" everywhere unless you have genuine DO-specific experiences; it must feel natural, not inauthentic.
• Two-stage editing process: edit for story/message first (multiple times), then edit for grammar last.

📝 Understanding the application services

📝 The three systems and their limits

Application Service	Schools	Character Limit
AMCAS	Allopathic (MD) medical schools	5,300 characters (most)
TMDSAS	Texas medical schools	5,000 characters
AACOMAS	Osteopathic (DO) medical schools	4,500 characters (least)

• If you apply to all three, you must adjust your essay length for each.
• The difference between longest and shortest is 800 characters.

🎯 What stays constant

The goal for each application service is to describe your journey and what brought you to applying to medical school.

• Your story doesn't change between services.
• The reason you want to be a physician remains the same.
• What you hope to accomplish as a physician is consistent regardless of which school you attend.
• Only the presentation length varies.

⚠️ The "write short and reuse" trap

⚠️ Why writing to 4,500 characters for all applications is problematic

• Some students write one 4,500-character essay (AACOMAS maximum) and submit it to all three services.
• This is technically possible since it's below the other limits.
• The problem: Admissions Committees reviewing TMDSAS and AMCAS applications will notice an essay that is 500–800 characters short.
• The reason for the shortness becomes obvious and may appear lazy.

💪 How to use extra space strategically

• Extra characters in TMDSAS and AMCAS are an advantage, not a burden.
• Use them to:
  • Show one more experience that strengthened your motivation.
  • Expand on your hopes for the future as a physician.
  • Separate yourself from other applicants.
• Don't cheat yourself by not using as many characters as possible.

🩺 Writing about osteopathic medicine

🩺 The DO-specific question

• Osteopathic medical schools face ongoing challenges:
  • Many premeds still don't know what a DO is.
  • Some (usually older) physicians view DO schools as less legitimate or for students "not smart enough" for MD schools.
• This leads students to wonder: must I write specifically about wanting to attend an osteopathic school?

✅ When to mention osteopathic medicine

• Do mention it if you can do so naturally:
  • You've had genuine experience with DOs.
  • Those moments specifically caused you to pursue becoming an osteopathic medical student.
  • Try to fit that story into the 800 fewer characters available.

❌ What not to do

• Don't randomly insert the word "osteopathic" everywhere you refer to medical school or becoming a physician.
• This tactic seems forced and inauthentic.

🚫 Example of forced language

The excerpt provides a student example:

"I spoke with doctors, attended appointments, relayed sensitive information, provided wound care, and organized her treatment plans at home. This role was a natural fit—I found a sense of purpose in managing her care and a developing interest in osteopathic medicine as I gained more exposure to the medical field."

Why this is problematic:

• The student was discussing her mother's massive heart attack early in the essay.
• Osteopathic medicine wasn't mentioned before this sentence.
• No interaction with DOs was described.
• No mention of whether an osteopathic physician treated her mother.
• Inserting "osteopathic" here sounds forced.
• The student continued this pattern throughout the rest of the statement.

Don't confuse: Genuine DO-specific motivation (based on real experiences) vs. artificially inserting "osteopathic" to seem interested.

🔍 The two-stage editing process

🔍 Stage one: editing for story and message

• Most important edit: review for the message you're delivering.
• Not a one-time process: edit after every draft to ensure your intended message matches what you actually wrote.
• Common disconnect: How you read what you wrote can be completely different from how someone else reads it.
• Many students say "That's not at all what I meant to say!" when receiving feedback.

🎯 The stranger test

If you hand your essay to a stranger, he or she should be able to tell you, in their own words, why you want to be a physician.

• This is the goal of your message.
• The reader should clearly understand your motivation to become a physician.

✏️ Stage two: editing for grammar

• Timing: This should be the last step of the process.
• When to do it: Only after you are convinced your personal statement has done its job of showing why you want to be a physician.
• What to check:
  • No typos.
  • Correct punctuation.
  • No other small mistakes.
• Find someone who is a grammar expert for this stage.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

Editing your personal statement requires two separate processes—first reviewing the core message to ensure it clearly explains why you want to be a physician, then polishing grammar—and should involve multiple rounds of feedback from appropriate reviewers who can objectively challenge your story.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Two distinct editing stages: message/story editing must come first and happen after every draft; grammar editing should be the final step only after the message is solid.
• The core test: a stranger should be able to read your essay and explain back to you, in their own words, why you want to be a physician.
• Choosing reviewers wisely: premed advisors are ideal; friends/family need guidance on what to look for; physician mentors understand the "why" but may not know current admissions trends; review swaps with other students are a last resort.
• Common confusion: what you think you wrote vs. what readers actually understand can be completely different—multiple reviews catch this gap.
• Professional editing criteria: look for companies with inside admissions knowledge, proven track records, at least two rounds of edits, and question access; avoid services that write essays for you.

✂️ The two-stage editing process

✂️ Message editing comes first

• This is the most important edit and must happen after every draft.
• Focus: does the essay actually deliver the message you intend?
• The excerpt emphasizes that "how you read what you wrote, and how someone else reads it, can be completely different."
• Students often discover their intended meaning didn't come through: "That's not at all what I meant to say!"
• Example: you write about a clinical experience thinking it shows compassion, but readers see only a list of tasks—the emotional connection is missing.

📝 Grammar editing is the last step

• Only begin grammar review once you are convinced the personal statement has done its job of showing why you want to be a physician.
• Find a grammar expert to check for typos, punctuation, and small mistakes.
• Don't confuse: fixing grammar before the message is solid wastes time, because you may rewrite entire sections during message edits.

🎯 The stranger test

Goal of your message: explain why you want to be a physician.

• If you hand your essay to a stranger, they should be able to tell you, in their own words, why you want to be a physician.
• This is the benchmark for whether message editing is complete.

👥 Who to ask for feedback

👨‍🏫 Premed advisor (first choice)

• Should be the first person you go to for everything related to the premed path.
• Depending on the volume of students, there may be some hoops to jump through, but they are usually minimal and worthwhile.
• Limitation: some advising offices have restrictions (e.g., minimum GPA/MCAT requirements); if you don't meet those, seek guidance elsewhere.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Friends and family (use with caution)

Advantages:

• Usually an easy option for most students.

Drawbacks:

• Do they know what they are looking at?
• Can they look at your personal statement objectively?
• Example risk: "Is your mom just going to be so proud of you that whatever you put in front of her is gold and will end up on the refrigerator?"

What you need:

• Valuable, critical feedback—not praise at every step.
• People who will challenge you and question what you are writing and why.
• You want them to understand why you chose this path and feel some of the emotions you felt.
• You want them to know why, not just what you have done.

How to guide them:

• Give them a review sheet so they look at your statement from the perspective of an advisor or Admissions Committee member.
• The excerpt mentions a downloadable guide available at a specific website.

👨‍⚕️ Physician mentors (helpful but limited)

Advantages:

• Have been through the process themselves.
• Can give feedback on your core message regarding why you want to be a physician.
• Can see through any glaring issues with your "why" because they've been to medical school and practiced.

Limitations:

• May not understand what Admissions Committees are looking for now.
• May only understand what worked for them, not what's best for your specific situation.

Practical note:

• Physicians are busy people—be polite and give them extra time.

🔄 Review swaps with other students (last resort)

• Found on premed forums online where students exchange essays for mutual review.
• The excerpt's "general rule of thumb": review swaps should be your last resort.

Why they're problematic:

• Similar to friends and family: do they know how to give feedback and what to give feedback on?
• Do they know what a good "why" looks like?
• Trend of "cutthroat and negative attitudes" on the same sites.
• "Premeds helping premeds with information they learned from other premeds" doesn't make sense.

Evidence from the excerpt:

• When the author asked students to send essays with feedback from student reviewers, most feedback was grammatical in nature.
• A few good comments from one specific reviewer, but the rest were very generic and unhelpful.

If you must use them:

• Use the same review sheet you would give family and friends.

💼 Professional editing services (if budget allows)

What to look for:

Criterion	Why it matters
Inside knowledge	Company should know what medical schools are looking for, not just be run by medical students or residents who may not actually know
Track record	Should provide testimonials showing students' personal statements received great feedback from Admissions Committees (not just that students got accepted, since that's multifactorial)
Multiple rounds	At least two rounds of edits so you can make changes and get feedback on those changes
Question access	Ability to email or call the reviewer for clarification or to resolve misunderstandings

What to completely avoid:

• Companies that will write your personal statement for you.
• This is against the rules for application services and can get you in huge trouble.
• Your writing style and voice will be completely different between primary and secondary applications, raising red flags.

When to consider:

• Only if it fits your budget.
• If you don't have a great premed advisor or mentors willing to give feedback.
• If you still lack confidence in your personal statement after other reviews.

🔄 Processing feedback and iterating

🗺️ The GPS analogy

• Like getting directions from a GPS, you need to figure out your route and where you are starting.
• Everyone is trying to end up in roughly the same location: showing the Admissions Committee why you want to be a physician.
• Small deviations based on your past (e.g., if you've had major red flags, you'll likely want to include that).
• You'll probably want to incorporate some statement regarding your future and what you hope to accomplish.
• Even though the ending is the same, the route will be completely different for each student.

🔍 How to approach each round of feedback

Step 1: Reread without looking at comments

• Brings the material back fresh to your mind.
• Ask yourself the same questions the reviewer was asking.
• Be honest with yourself about whether the essay shows why you want to be a doctor.
• Check if you wrote too much about extracurriculars or listed experiences like a résumé.

Step 2: Welcome each piece of feedback

• If you're honest with yourself, you'll see every comment as a way to get your personal statement back on track.
• Each new draft gives you a new starting point.
• Each piece of feedback will hopefully redirect you to the proper route to tell your best story.

🤔 When you disagree with a reviewer

• Sometimes you may disagree—that's okay.
• Maybe they misunderstood something and you can clarify.
• If they suggest adding something you don't want to add:
  • Make sure what they're suggesting is actually your story, not some generic statement.
  • Ask them why they think it belongs and how it will add to your personal statement.
• If you feel, at your core, that you have to have certain information in your personal statement, then put it in there.
• Don't confuse: what you add shouldn't be because you think it's what the Admissions Committee wants to read.

🔄 When drastic changes are needed

• Hopefully your first draft is on the right track—maybe 10,000 characters with poor grammar, but it tells your story.
• If that's the case, each subsequent draft is just about refining the message (cutting characters, moving stories, homing in on the closing).
• If you're way off base after your first draft and receive good constructive criticism, you may want to start fresh.
• Encouragement to start with a clean slate is common feedback.
• Don't worry if you need to start over—a large percentage of students get this feedback.

🔬 Final editing stage

🔍 What final edits look like

• Should be very nitpicky details that probably won't affect your personal statement in large ways.
• Some students go through as many as twelve or thirteen edits.
• By the end, the core message is already solid, and you're looking at things from a new angle.

✨ Example: removing confusion

Original draft:

My imagination twisted the young woman into my mother, a nervous 36-year-old. Stomach churning, I relived the fear and sadness that permeated the kitchen when my mom told us she was dying.

Problem:

• Confusion about who was 36—the student's mom or the patient.

Final version:

My mind brought me back to when my mom, in her late 30s, sat us down and told us she was dying from breast cancer.

What changed:

• Removed fancy language ("imagination twisted," "stomach churning").
• Reader can quickly understand without stopping to think about it.

🚩 Example: removing potential red flags

Original draft:

I lived for several weeks with a colleague, Steve, who spoke passionately about how their son's doctors changed their lives.

Problem:

• The word "lived" could raise a potential red flag for readers.
• The detail wasn't necessary.

Final version:

Around this time, my colleague often spoke passionately about how his son's doctors changed the lives of his family.

What changed:

• Says the same thing without a potential red flag being raised.

✅ Knowing when you're done

✅ The four-question test

Hand your personal statement to a stranger and ask these four questions:

1. After reading my personal statement, can you tell me what my initial motivation was for exploring healthcare?
2. After reading the experiences I wrote about, can you tell me why they were important enough to put in my personal statement?
3. After reading my personal statement, do you see me doing anything else other than becoming a physician?
4. After reading my personal statement, what do you think I hope to accomplish as a physician?

If the answers match your expectations:

• You have probably written a great personal statement that will show the Admissions Committee why you want to be a doctor and what you hope to accomplish.

If you don't get the answers you expected:

• Take the feedback and go back to the drawing board.

⏱️ Timeline expectations

• The personal statement writing process should be lengthy.
• Don't get frustrated if it's taking longer than you think it should take.
• The excerpt suggests it will probably take three to four times longer than you expect.
• As soon as you think it's good to go, put it aside and don't look at it again (the excerpt cuts off here, but implies taking a break before final review).

🎯 "Good enough" is all you need

• You could continue to tweak and edit your personal statement for years, but you would never get anywhere.
• At some point, good enough is all you need.
• Don't confuse: this doesn't mean one draft is good enough—you still need to go through the full editing process.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

A personal statement is complete when a stranger can correctly answer four specific questions about your motivation, experiences, career certainty, and goals after reading it.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• The completion test: Hand your statement to a stranger and ask four specific questions—if they answer as you expect, you're done.
• When to stop editing: After planning, writing, editing, and rechecking, put it aside and don't look again to avoid unnecessary stress.
• Common confusion: "Good enough" doesn't mean one draft—you still need the full editing process, but endless tweaking won't help.
• Timeline expectation: The process should be lengthy; expect it to take three to four times longer than you think.
• What matters most: Your personal statement is your story—if you feel you've told it after getting constructive feedback, you've done your job.

✅ The Four-Question Completion Test

✅ What the test measures

The excerpt provides a concrete method to know when your personal statement is truly finished: give it to a stranger and ask four specific questions.

• This is not about whether you think it's good; it's about whether a reader who doesn't know you can extract the right information.
• The stranger serves as a proxy for the Admissions Committee.
• If their answers match your expectations, you've communicated effectively.

📋 The four required questions

Question	What it tests
1. Can you tell me what my initial motivation was for exploring healthcare?	Whether your origin story is clear
2. Can you tell me why the experiences I wrote about were important enough to include?	Whether you've explained significance, not just listed events
3. Do you see me doing anything else other than becoming a physician?	Whether your commitment to medicine is unambiguous
4. What do you think I hope to accomplish as a physician?	Whether your future goals come through

🔄 What to do with the results

• If answers match expectations: You've probably written a great personal statement that shows why you want to be a doctor and what you hope to accomplish.
• If answers don't match: Take the feedback and go back to the drawing board—revise until the communication is clear.
• Don't confuse: Getting unexpected answers isn't failure; it's valuable data showing where your statement isn't communicating what you intend.

🛑 When and How to Stop

🛑 The stopping point

After properly going through the process of planning, writing, editing, and rechecking your work, you need to be done with it.

• "Good enough" is all you need—but only after completing the full editing process described in the previous chapter.
• Once you've passed the four-question test with expected answers, stop.
• Put the statement aside; don't look at it again; don't have anyone else look at it.

⚠️ Why continuing is harmful

• Continuing to check your essay will just cause unneeded stress, anxiety, and fear.
• You could tweak and edit for years and never get anywhere.
• The premed and personal statement are "an inseparable couple until the very end," but there must be an end.

⏱️ Timeline expectations

• The personal statement writing process should be lengthy.
• Don't get frustrated if it's taking longer than you think.
• Expect it to take three to four times longer than you initially estimate.
• As soon as you think it's good to go, that's when you put it aside—not when you keep polishing.

🎯 What Happens Next

🎯 Moving forward

After you're done with your personal statement:

• Start working on secondary essay prompts immediately.
• You want to get as much of a head start as possible on those.
• Focus on the rest of your application.
• Click submit as soon as you can.

💭 Treating your story with respect

At the end of the day, you have to remember that your personal statement is your story. Treat it with respect, just as you treat yourself with respect.

• You may need to write about potentially vulnerable experiences that expose aspects of your life you don't usually like to talk about—that's okay.
• The final measure: if you feel like you've told your story after getting good, constructive feedback, you've done your job.
• Don't confuse: "Done" means you've communicated your story effectively, not that you've achieved perfection or exhausted every possible revision.

🧭 Overview

🧠 One-sentence thesis

This excerpt provides detailed feedback on multiple medical school personal statement drafts, illustrating common mistakes (telling instead of showing, résumé-style writing, weak takeaways) and demonstrating how revision transforms weak statements into compelling narratives that reveal why applicants want to become physicians.

📌 Key points (3–5)

• Show, don't tell: The most frequent critique is that students tell readers about experiences rather than showing them through vivid, sensory details and specific patient interactions.
• Why medicine, not what you did: Personal statements must answer "why physician?" not just list activities; every story needs a clear takeaway connecting the experience to the desire to practice medicine.
• Avoid résumé writing: Chronological timelines of activities belong in the application's activity section, not the personal statement, which should focus on meaningful moments and reflection.
• Common confusion: skills vs. motivation: Describing skills you've gained (teamwork, communication) or explaining what physicians do doesn't demonstrate why you personally need to be a physician—focus on patient impact and personal calling instead.
• Nontraditional paths can strengthen statements: Career-changers and nontraditional students stand out when they authentically weave their unique backgrounds into their medical journey without forcing connections.

📝 Core writing principles

📝 The "showing" imperative

The most repeated advice: transform telling statements into showing scenes.

Telling example (weak):

• "I was able to talk with patients and help care for them."
• "It was humbling to consider my role."

Showing example (strong):

• "I squatted down beside her to get on eye level with her. For the first time her brown eyes met mine. I watched as the fear in her body began to soften."

Why showing works:

• Engages the reader's senses and emotions
• Makes experiences memorable and vivid
• Demonstrates qualities (empathy, compassion) without stating them
• Forces the reader to experience the moment rather than just read about it

Example transformation: One student wrote "I held the baby while she went for a smoke break" (telling). The revision added: "I could feel my nervousness making my movements rigid as I carefully tried to avoid disrupting the baby's many attachments. I began to sing, both to comfort the baby and myself" (showing).

🎯 The takeaway requirement

Every story or experience must include a clear takeaway that connects to medicine.

Weak takeaways:

• "I learned not to judge people" (applies to any career)
• "I gained teamwork skills" (generic)
• "I saw what physicians do" (observation, not motivation)

Strong takeaways:

• "I knew then that I wanted to be able to help people in ways that only a physician can"
• "This experience humbled me and gave me even more motivation to continue working towards the goal of becoming a physician"
• "I wanted to be the one conducting the patient interviews... I wanted to be their physician"

Don't confuse: Understanding what physicians do ≠ wanting to become one. The takeaway must explain why this experience made you certain you need to be a physician, not just that you understand the role.

🚫 What to avoid

Résumé writing:

• Chronological lists of activities
• "I then shadowed... I then volunteered... I then worked as..."
• Information already in the activities section

Mission statements:

• Opening with "I want to be a doctor because I love science and helping people"
• Generic statements about medicine being rewarding
• Explaining what physicians do as if teaching the reader

Forced themes:

• Overusing metaphors (rose-colored glasses, engaged, jungle paths)
• Trying to tie everything back to a single image
• Creative flourishes that distract from the core message

Selling skills:

• Listing traits you think admissions wants ("I am compassionate, dedicated, and hardworking")
• Explaining why your background will make you a good doctor
• Comparing your experiences to physician responsibilities

🌱 The "seed" and journey structure

🌱 Planting the seed

The "seed" is the initial spark that made medicine a possibility—the origin story.

Strong seeds from examples:

• Mother's illness and watching her study medical texts as a child
• Father's death and witnessing compassionate physicians
• Military deployment and translating for mothers with sick children
• Watching a physician fight for father's quality of life during cancer treatment

Placement: The seed should appear early (first or second paragraph) to establish the foundation of your journey.

Don't confuse: Vague references like "I've always wanted to be a doctor" or "my interest in medicine began years ago" without explanation leave readers asking "why?" and "when?" You must show the actual moment or period when the seed was planted.

💧 Watering the seed

After planting the seed, show how subsequent experiences confirmed and strengthened your commitment.

Effective watering examples:

• Volunteering where you had meaningful patient interactions
• Shadowing that revealed specific aspects of physician work that resonated
• Personal experiences with healthcare that deepened understanding
• Moments of reflection where you questioned then reaffirmed your path

Pattern: Each experience should build on the previous one, showing growth and increasing certainty. Example: "This experience reaffirmed my decision" or "I knew in my heart that this is what I want to do in my life."

🔄 Reflection and growth

Strong statements include moments where the applicant:

• Questioned their path
• Overcame obstacles
• Gained new understanding
• Made conscious decisions to continue

Example: One student wrote about initially pursuing music, then discovering medicine through a patient interaction: "At this moment, medicine suddenly emerged as art... sealed the deal that medicine was my perfect path."

👥 Patient interaction stories

👥 What makes patient stories effective

The strongest personal statements center on specific patient encounters that reveal:

• The human side of medicine
• The applicant's capacity for empathy
• Why physician-patient relationships matter to them
• How they want to impact future patients

📖 Story structure for patient encounters

Setup (brief):

• Where you were (clinic, hospital, volunteering)
• Who the patient was (minimal identifying details)

The encounter (detailed showing):

• What you saw, heard, felt
• Specific actions you or the physician took
• The patient's response or emotional state
• Your internal reaction

Takeaway (explicit):

• Why this moment mattered
• How it confirmed your desire to be a physician
• What kind of physician you want to be

Example from the excerpts: Setup: "Upon arrival at the ED, patients entrusted their well-being to a team..." Encounter: "I encountered a patient alone and deeply distraught over two broken fingers... until finding they were a professional violinist... telling them that bones heal and everything would be okay visibly contributed to their overall condition." Takeaway: "The satisfaction I derived from these small contributions made it clear I was pursuing a heartfelt goal."

⚠️ Common patient story mistakes

Too generic:

• "I helped many patients and learned a lot"
• "Patients were grateful for the care"
• No specific individuals or moments

Missing the medicine connection:

• Stories that could apply to social work, nursing, or other helping professions
• Focus on general helping without physician-specific elements
• No explanation of why this requires being a physician

Wrong focus:

• Emphasizing your skills rather than patient impact
• Describing what the physician did without your personal connection
• Making it about the disease rather than the person

🚩 Addressing red flags

🚩 When to address red flags

Red flags that may warrant explanation in the personal statement:

• Academic dismissal or significant grade drops
• Extended gaps in education
• Career changes (why leaving previous career)
• Major life events that affected performance

Length guideline: Keep red flag explanations brief (one paragraph, roughly 10-15% of total statement) unless the experience is central to your journey.

📋 How to frame red flags

Own the situation:

• Take responsibility without placing blame
• "I struggled academically" not "my mother spent my college fund"
• Focus on growth and lessons learned

Be specific but concise:

• "I rounded out the first year of college with less than stellar grades. I recognize this was in part due to the novelty of being away from home, never previously learning how to study, and not yet having a passion for medicine instilled in me."

Show improvement:

• Demonstrate what changed
• Provide evidence of current capability
• Connect to increased maturity or focus

Example from excerpts: One student addressed addiction directly: "On June 13, 2004, I woke up in the middle of the night to two strangers telling me to get up and get dressed... This was my second chance at life." Then quickly moved to how this shaped her journey and drive.

⚠️ Red flags to avoid mentioning

• Poor MCAT scores (not significant enough)
• Minor grade fluctuations
• Common challenges everyone faces
• Anything that raises more questions than it answers

Don't confuse: Explaining obstacles ≠ making excuses. The goal is to provide context while demonstrating resilience and growth, not to justify poor performance.

🔄 Nontraditional applicant strategies

🔄 Leveraging unique backgrounds

Nontraditional students (career changers, military, older applicants) have built-in advantages:

• Automatic differentiation from traditional applicants
• Rich life experiences to draw from
• Demonstrated maturity and commitment
• Unique perspectives on healthcare

🎯 Effective nontraditional approaches

Acknowledge the transition:

• Explain why you're leaving your previous career
• Show what was missing or what you discovered
• Demonstrate this isn't a whim but a considered decision

Example: "Although I enjoy a successful, stable career as a programmer and computer engineer, I have chosen to pursue medicine due to a calling to play a more active role in my community."

Connect previous experience to medicine:

• Show how your background adds value
• Identify transferable insights (not just skills)
• Demonstrate you understand both worlds

Example: Military veteran: "I trained as an infantryman to cause bodily harm to the enemy, yet here I was taking part in a process meant to heal and rehabilitate people. The experience was profoundly gratifying."

Address the "why now" question:

• Explain what held you back initially
• Show what changed or what you discovered
• Demonstrate readiness and preparation

🚫 Nontraditional pitfalls

Dwelling on previous career:

• Don't write a résumé of your other profession
• Avoid lengthy explanations of non-medical work
• Keep focus on the journey to medicine

Comparing careers:

• Don't extensively contrast "why not X career"
• Avoid negative comments about previous profession
• Focus on "why medicine" not "why not engineering/teaching/etc."

Forcing connections:

• Don't artificially link every previous experience to medicine
• Avoid claiming your background makes you uniquely qualified
• Let the connections emerge naturally from your story

Example of what to avoid: Spending multiple paragraphs on military logistics, engineering projects, or business achievements without clear connection to patient care or medical calling.

✍️ Revision and refinement

✍️ Common first draft problems

The timeline trap: Most first drafts read like chronological résumés:

• "I volunteered at X, then shadowed at Y, then worked at Z"
• Each paragraph covers a different activity
• No narrative thread or emotional arc
• Missing the "why" throughout

The mission statement opening: Many students start with generic declarations:

• "I have always wanted to be a doctor"
• "Medicine combines my love of science and helping people"
• "I decided to pursue medicine because..."

The skill-selling approach: Students list qualities they think admissions wants:

• "I am compassionate, dedicated, and hardworking"
• "My experiences have taught me teamwork and communication"
• "I possess the qualities needed to be a physician"

🔧 Revision strategies

Start with patient stories:

• Identify your most meaningful patient interactions
• Expand these into full scenes with sensory details
• Make these the backbone of your statement

Cut the timeline:

• Remove chronological activity lists
• Delete information already in your application
• Keep only experiences that advance your narrative

Add reflection:

• After each story, explain why it mattered
• Show moments of questioning and reaffirming
• Demonstrate growth and increasing certainty

Strengthen takeaways:

• Make every paragraph answer "why physician?"
• Connect experiences explicitly to medicine
• Avoid generic lessons that apply to any career

📊 Before and after patterns

First Draft	Final Draft
"I volunteered and learned a lot"	Specific patient story with dialogue and emotion
"I am compassionate and dedicated"	Scene showing compassion through actions
"I shadowed many physicians"	One meaningful observation with clear impact
"Medicine combines science and service"	Personal journey showing discovery of this truth
Chronological activity list	Thematic narrative with selected key moments

Example transformation: One student's first draft spent paragraphs on being a veterinarian with minimal human patient contact. The final draft opened with her father's death, included human patient experiences, and clearly articulated why she needed to transition to human medicine.

🎯 Conclusions and future vision

🎯 What makes a strong conclusion

Effective endings:

• Tie together the journey you've described
• Articulate your vision for the future
• Show what you hope to accomplish as a physician
• Demonstrate you're thinking beyond just getting admitted

💭 "Think bigger" feedback

A common critique in the excerpts: conclusions that are too small or generic.

Weak conclusions:

• "I look forward to becoming a physician"
• "I am ready for the challenges of medical school"
• "I will be a compassionate doctor"

Stronger conclusions:

• Specific populations you want to serve
• Healthcare problems you want to address
• Type of impact you hope to make
• How your unique background will shape your practice

Example: "I need to be a physician so I can be on the forefront of the fight against obesity and its health-related complications. Preventive medicine is of utmost importance to me... My hope is that this change in perspective will result in less time treating illness and rather preventing illness altogether."

🌟 Bringing it full circle

Strong conclusions reference the opening:

• Return to the initial seed or patient
• Show how far you've come
• Demonstrate the journey was meaningful

Example: One student opened with founding a free clinic, toured experiences, then concluded: "I stroll determinedly to the front door of the clinic and open it to welcome the waiting patients in."

⚠️ Conclusion mistakes to avoid

Repeating the opening:

• Don't just restate your mission statement
• Avoid circular logic that goes nowhere

Listing skills again:

• "I have the dedication, compassion, and intelligence needed"
• This is selling, not concluding

Being too humble:

• "I hope to be given the opportunity"
• "If accepted, I will work hard"
• Show confidence in your calling

Forcing themes:

• Returning to metaphors that don't add meaning
• Overworking creative elements

📚 Key lessons from successful statements

📚 What worked across examples

Powerful openings:

• Immediate sensory details that place reader in a scene
• Nontraditional backgrounds stated upfront
• Compelling patient encounters
• Moments of crisis or transformation

Strong middle sections:

• Multiple patient stories showing growth
• Moments of reflection and questioning
• Clear progression of commitment
• Specific rather than generic experiences

Effective conclusions:

• Vision for future impact
• Connection to opening themes
• Specific goals or populations to serve
• Confidence without arrogance

🎓 Patterns in accepted students

Students who received multiple interviews and acceptances typically:

• Showed rather than told throughout
• Had clear, specific patient interactions
• Demonstrated reflection and growth
• Articulated why physician specifically (not just healthcare)
• Used their unique backgrounds authentically
• Kept focus on medicine, not résumé building
• Had strong takeaways after each story
• Thought big about future impact

⚠️ What didn't work

Common patterns in weaker statements:

• Excessive focus on non-medical careers
• Timeline/résumé structure
• Generic "I love science and helping people"
• Skill-selling instead of story-telling
• Missing patient interactions
• Weak or absent takeaways
• Forced themes or metaphors
• Too much space on red flags
• Comparing medicine to other careers

Don't confuse: A good personal statement ≠ perfect writing. The goal is authentic storytelling that reveals your journey and motivation, not literary perfection or creative flourishes.