Chapter 1 - Community Agreements and Terminology
Chapter 1. Chapter 1 - Community Agreements and Terminology Ericka Goerling, PhD and Emerson Wolfe, MS
🧭 Overview
🧠 One-sentence thesis
Human sexuality education requires establishing respectful community agreements and understanding evolving terminology around sex, gender, and sexual orientation to create inclusive learning environments that acknowledge intersecting identities and combat microaggressions.
📌 Key points (3–5)
- Community agreements establish boundaries and expectations for respectful communication in group learning settings about sensitive topics.
- Sex vs. gender distinction: sex refers to anatomical/genetic characteristics, while gender is a social construct with roles, expressions, and identities that vary by culture.
- Common confusion: sexual orientation (who you're attracted to) and gender identity (how you understand your own gender) are separate concepts, though often conflated in acronyms like 2SMLGBTQIA+.
- Intersectionality matters: multiple identities (race, class, gender, sexuality, disability, etc.) combine to create unique experiences of privilege and marginalization.
- Language evolves: terminology around sexuality and gender constantly changes; cultural humility and asking preferred terms shows respect.
🤝 Community agreements for learning
🤝 Core principles
The excerpt presents 14 community agreements developed by students for sexuality education classes:
- Confidentiality ("Vegas Rule"): what is shared in class stays private unless explicit permission is given
- Curiosity over assumptions: ask questions rather than assume; recognize complexity
- Lean into discomfort: be open to perspectives different from your own
- Respect boundaries: treat others how they want to be treated; ask, don't assume
- "I" statements: speak from personal perspective rather than giving unsolicited advice
- No outing: never share others' identities without permission—can be dangerous
- "Don't yuck my yum": don't disparage others' preferences or perspectives
- Make space, take space: balance participation; don't monopolize discussions
🎯 Why agreements matter
These agreements create safety for discussing sensitive topics where people enter with different comfort levels, knowledge, and personal experiences. They acknowledge that sexuality education can trigger discomfort while establishing norms for respectful disagreement and mutual learning.
📚 Foundational terminology
📚 The multiple meanings of "sex"
For this course, "sex" has two meanings: (1) sexual anatomy/genetic characteristics, and (2) sexual behavior.
Sexual behavior definition:
"Behavior that produces arousal and increases the chance of orgasm" (Hyde & DeLamater, 2017, p. 3)—orgasm doesn't need to happen; focus is on sensory arousal.
Why this matters: The term's ambiguity causes confusion (example: President Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations" statement). Some argue certain acts "don't count as sex," but this course uses a broader definition focused on arousal-producing behavior.
🚫 Don't confuse: Sex vs. gender
These terms are often used interchangeably but mean very different things:
| Concept | Definition | Key aspects |
|---|---|---|
| Sex | Anatomical and genetic characteristics | Genitals, chromosomes, hormones, body weight distribution; typically assigned at birth by doctors |
| Gender | Social construct | Includes roles, expectations, behaviors based on society; constantly evolving |
🎭 Gender components
Gender expression:
- How people dress, walk, talk, alter appearance (shaving, makeup, etc.) to align with or challenge cultural norms
- People constantly perform gender through clothing, hair, mannerisms, speech
- Can conform to dominant culture or align with subcultures offering more flexibility
Gender perception:
- How others perceive your gender regardless of your identity
- Can cause dysphoria when others misjudge or judge based on conformity to stereotypes
Gender identity:
- Personal understanding of one's own gender
- May align with traditional male/female categories, combine these, exist outside binary systems, or be something else entirely
- Influenced by stereotypes and early learning, often subconsciously
Gender binary vs. spectrum:
- Binary: only two genders (male and female)
- Spectrum: researchers increasingly view gender as a continuum with endless possibilities
🌍 Cultural context and intersectionality
🌍 Defining culture
The excerpt lists student definitions:
- Where you're from
- Shared ways of thinking within a group
- Rituals and practices
- Values/ideas passed down generationally
- Religion
- Current times
Dominant cultures vs. subcultures:
- Dominant cultures operate from power and privilege
- Subcultures/co-cultures experience oppression and marginalization based on societal structure
🔗 Intersecting identities
Intersecting identities: race, ethnicity, age, health status/disability, gender, sexuality, spirituality/religion, body size, education, family wealth, geographical location, immigration status, marital status, parenthood, language, and MORE combine to form cultural identities.
Some identities carry privilege while others face marginalization. Understanding this totality helps recognize power dynamics in interactions.
🔗 Intersectionality (Kimberlé Crenshaw)
Term developed to explain how systems of marginalization interconnect to create compounding barriers within society.
- Originally addressed how race, gender, and class intersect to impact Black cisgender women with fewer financial resources
- Now expanded to address many forms of interpersonal and systemic oppression
- Systems don't operate separately—they compound
👁️ Positionality
How privileged identities can lead to unintentional (or intentional) othering of people with marginalized identities.
- Oppressed identities are often more present in our minds due to discrimination faced
- Understanding our privileges is necessary to recognize biases and prevent harm
- Requires ongoing self-reflection
🌱 Cultural humility
Recognize it's impossible to know everything about every identity. Work to center others' experiences rather than making assumptions from your outside perspective.
Ethnocentrism vs. ethnorelativism:
- Ethnocentrism: viewing your own culture as superior; judging others from your perspective (automatic, unconscious)
- Ethnorelativism: understanding many perspectives exist; everything is relative to cultural backgrounds (thoughtful, reflective—the better approach)
🎯 Microaggressions and media influences
🎯 What are microaggressions?
Subtle insults often done unconsciously directed at minorities—people of color, women, LGBTQIA+ people, people with disabilities, etc.
The excerpt references researcher Derald Wing Sue's work on cross-cultural issues and emphasizes the importance of learning to combat microaggressions (specific strategies referenced in external video content).
📺 Media influences on sexuality understanding
Cultivation:
People begin to think what they see in media reflects mainstream cultural views on sexuality.
Agenda setting: News companies choose what to report and what to ignore, shaping what we view as important. Misinformation is not equally distributed across users—polarized content and fake news are significant issues.
Social learning: Behavior is learned through reinforcement, punishment, and imitation. We can subconsciously imitate what we see in media.
Positive potential: When accurate and up-to-date, media can usefully share information (example: #MeToo Movement shifting discourse from rape culture toward consent culture).
🏳️🌈 2SMLGBTQIA+ terminology
🏳️🌈 Understanding the acronym
The full acronym is constantly expanding. The excerpt uses 2SMLGBTQIA+ to center indigenous communities:
Expanded version: 2SMLGGBBTQQIAAPF
🏳️🌈 Sorting by category
| Category | Terms | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Sexual orientation (who you're attracted to) | Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Pansexual, Fluid | About attraction—physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual |
| Gender identity (how you understand your gender) | Two-Spirit, Māhū, Genderqueer, Bigender, Transgender, Queer, Questioning | Transgender often used as umbrella term including nonbinary, gender nonconforming, gender expansive |
| Sex (biological characteristics) | Intersex | Anatomy, chromosomes, genitals |
Queer and questioning appear in both sexual orientation and gender identity because:
- Queer is an umbrella term applicable to sexuality and/or gender
- People can question either sexuality or gender identity
🏳️🌈 Why centering indigenous terms matters
Two-Spirit (Alaska Native/Native American umbrella term) and Māhū (Native Hawaiian) are listed first to center indigenous experiences. Gender and sexual fluidity predate binary and rigid views—they are not new concepts.
🏳️🌈 Evolving and respectful language
Outdated/potentially offensive terms:
- "Homosexual," "heterosexual," "transsexual," "hermaphrodite" (viewed by many as derogatory, especially the last two)
Current respectful terms:
- "Gay," "lesbian," "straight," "transgender," "gender nonbinary," "gender expansive," "intersex"
Generational divide: Older generations may still prefer earlier terms; younger generations often reclaim words like "queer" (formerly an insult meaning "strange, odd, different") as a source of pride.
Cultural considerations: Some people of color may not use "gay" or "lesbian" because early liberation movements excluded people of color. Alternative terms include QPOC (queer person of color), same gender loving, down low (DL).
Best practice: Use the language a person uses for themselves, or ask what terms they prefer.
🏳️🌈 Medical terminology note
"Disorder/differences of sex development (DSD)" is now the most common medical term for intersex diagnoses, though use of older medical terms may indicate researchers unaware of more respectful language.
✅ Consent fundamentals
✅ FRIES model
Consent is: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific (Planned Parenthood, 2022)
Consent is a central topic throughout the textbook because healthy sexual behaviors cannot occur without it. The excerpt emphasizes learning to identify what consent looks like in different relationship scenarios.
🔄 Circles of sexuality model
🔄 Overall framework
Sexuality is the total expression of who we are as human beings—the most complex human attribute encompassing our whole psychosocial development: values, attitudes, physical appearance, beliefs, emotions, attractions, likes/dislikes, spiritual selves.
Influenced by values, culture, socialization, politics, and laws. The "Circles of Sexuality" model (Dennis Daily) includes five circles:
🔄 The five circles
1. Sensuality:
- How bodies feel pleasure through all senses
- Includes "skin hunger"—the human need for touch
- Touch provides emotional and physical health benefits; fundamental to communication, bonding, and health
- Desire for sex may diminish with age, but need for caring, intimate touch remains strong
- Represents closeness in physiological terms
2. Intimacy:
- Emotional behaviors and needs: trust, respect, loving/liking someone
- Need for intimacy is ageless—never outgrow need for affection, emotional closeness
- Can mean companionship, affection, enduring tenderness and concern
- Represents closeness in emotional and affectionate terms
3. Sexual identity:
- Contains gender identity, gender roles, sexual orientation
- Core question: "Who Am I?"
- Sexual orientation: who we're attracted to physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually
4. Sexual health and reproduction:
- What many people think of as "sex"
- Includes sexual behaviors, risk reduction (condoms, lubrication, body positioning, sex toys)
- Important for STI/HIV prevention
5. Sexualization:
- Includes harassment, rape, misuse of power, withholding sex
- Unrealistic portrayals of sexuality to sell products, including in movies and TV
🔄 Why this matters
The ability to express and enjoy sexuality leads to pleasure and well-being—essential at any age for meeting human needs for intimacy and belonging (connects to Maslow's hierarchy of needs).
🌈 Creating inclusive environments
🌈 "Inviting in" vs. "coming out"
Instead of asking others to "come out" when they may not feel comfortable or safe, create accepting and affirming environments where people can be themselves.
Responsibility: Each person must indicate they are supportive and value equity and inclusion. Express yourself in ways that create safe havens from hatred and shame, inviting others to be their full selves.
🌈 Why comprehensive sexuality education matters
Research (Goldfarb & Lieberman, 2020 meta-analysis) provides strong support for comprehensive sex education across topics and grade levels. Evidence supports approaches that:
- Address a broad definition of sexual health
- Take positive, affirming, inclusive approaches to human sexuality
- Justify widespread adoption of National Sex Education Standards
The U.S. has significant work to do in building national sexuality education responses. Students taking this course become "default ambassadors" combining previous knowledge with academic information to build sexual intelligence.